I Have a Confession To Make
by kimiko888
Summary: Because when it comes to telling that certain someone how you feel... the timing is wrong, the words don't come out right, and things don't always go as planned. 50 drabbles about confessions that would have failed, but didn't. Canon couples only.
1. I Dont' Understand French

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.**

**So, I was inspired by a note from facebook to write a collection of drabbles based off a list of 50 random things I made about myself. Of course, all of these won't have to do with me and I might just include it because I was inspired in the middle of class but I the first few might actually come from that list.**

**This has nothing to do with Confessions of a Band Camp Geek or High School Freak, just incase the title might have led you on.**

**I Have a Confession to Make…**

**I don't understand French.**

"Do you see this? It says _fille, _so it should be pronounced like Phil or fillet. As in, with an _l._"

"No, Inuyasha, its pronounced _fiya. _As in, with a _y_."

"Then why the fuck would they put two _l's _there!"

Miroku sighed for the hundredth time, rubbing his temples. "French isn't a phonetic language, Inuyasha."

"No shit." Inuyasha shut his French book and laid his head down on the library table, his head hurting after trying to understand a_ non-phonetic _language. "I don't get why you like French so much."

"Ladies think its romantic," Miroku shrugged, rocking back on the back two legs of his chair. "So I'm going to take French 5 and travel to France and pick up lots of ladies with my fluent skills in the language."

"I hear European chicks don't shave their pits."

"You shouldn't believe stereotypes."

"Fine, don't listen to me. You'll find out for yourself when you take her shirt off and wish you hadn't."

Miroku glared at the top his best friend's head and snatched the stack of note cards that were resting in the middle of the table and began flipping through them. "What's _quatre-vingt-dix-huit?_"

"_Je ne sais pas."_

"Ninety-eight," Miroku answered, going to the next card. "How do you ask how many brothers do you have?" Miroku asked. "In French."

"_Je ne sais pas."_

"_Combien de frères as-tu," _Miroku answered again, moving to the next card. "What is sister-in-law in French?"

"_Je ne sais pas."_

Miroku put the card down and looked at Inuyasha who had lifted his head so his chin was resting on his forearms. "Is 'I don't know' the only thing you know in French?"

Inuyasha smirked. "_Oui."_

Miroku sighed and shook his head, pushing Inuyasha's cards back to him. "You are going to fail French."

"I already am." Inuyasha shrugged as he lifted his head off the table and grabbed his cards, stuffing them in his bag. "French is a hard language."

"Why are you taking it again?" The bell rang and Miroku pushed his chair back and stood up, pulling his pants up on his hips. Inuyasha grabbed his bag, pulling it over his shoulder and standing up at the same time. '"You suck at French."

"I told you already," Inuyasha said, grabbing his French book. "I found out Kagome signed up for French 1 so I got out of Spanish and switched to French."

"And she's not even in your class!" Miroku laughed as they walk out of the school library.

"Shut the fuck up," Inuyasha mumbled, embarrassed about the situation himself. "I thought Ms. Sloan was the only French teacher and she only had one beginner's class this semester."

"You're such a dumbass."

"I won't be when I get her to tutor me."

Miroku stopped in the middle of the bustling hall and looked at his friend who was suddenly smiling. "This was your plan all along?"

No, he had just come up with it, having been hit with a rare stroke of ingenuity, but why give Miroku the satisfaction?

"If plan A fails, always have a plan B in your back pocket. My grade is low enough to demand tutoring from a smart girl like Kagome."

"I hear she's failing Algebra 2."

"So she's not a math whiz." Inuyasha shrugged as they turned down the hall to get to their biology class. "I'm not asking her for help on equations."

"And you really think she'll agree?"

"Of course," Inuyasha answered with no hesitation. "She has to."

**~0~**

"Hey Kagome!"

"Shit!" Kagome screamed, jumping ten feet in the air at the sound of someone yelling in her ear. She whirled around to see a smirking Inuyasha leaning against the locker next to hers. "Don't _do _that!"

"Sorry," Inuyasha apologized grinning, holding his hands up and Kagome just rolled her eyes, going back to shuffling through her locker. "I actually need to talk to you."

"What do you want now?"

"Can you try removing that hostility from your voice?"

Kagome pulled out the book she was looking for and shut her locker, turning to face the half-demon, and cocked her hip out, letting a hand rest on it. "What do you want now?" she repeated in the exact same tone.

Inuyasha sighed. "You're taking French this semester, right?"

"Unfortunately," Kagome sighed, bending over to pick her bag up off the floor and hoisting it over her shoulder. "I know we're only sophomores, but the freshmen in that class are just… _ugh!_"

"Yeah…" He was never attentive enough to know how the freshmen in his class acted. "So, what do you have in the class?"

"An A." She began walking down the hall and Inuyasha easily fell into step with her. "Why?"

"Well, your A and my F completely contradict each other so you're the perfect person for tutoring me."

Kagome started laughing. "You're seriously flunking French 1?"

"I don't find any of this funny."

"But it's _so easy!"_

"Not if you think French is a stupid language," Inuyasha argued. "Who made up a non-phonetic language?"

"You do know it's actually English that's the hardest language to learn, right?" Inuyasha just shrugged his shoulders. "If you hate French so much why did you sign up for the class?"

"I… uh…" Inuyasha scratched the back of his head and tried to hide his reddening face from Kagome. "I was thrown in the class because Spanish was full."

"Bummer," Kagome said sympathetically. "I got thrown into Chorus because both Photography and Art were full. Isn't that some seriously fucked up luck?"

"Um, yeah."

"But, there are plenty things to love about French," Kagome continued as they turned left around a corner. "There's Paris with the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre, Notre-Dame, the…" Kagome looked over and realized Inuyasha didn't even comprehend a word she said and tried speaking in terms he would understand. "_French _fries and _French _kissing."

"Ah…" Inuyasha said with realization, nodding his head a bit. "Now we're on the same page here."

"You're so ignorant to other cultures."

"So, back to the tutoring," Inuyasha said, changing the subject. "You think you can help me out?"

"I'll have to double check, but I think I'm free on Friday."

"Great!" Inuyasha smiled brightly at her as they made their way to the bus lot. "I can never get work done on an empty stomach so we should probably get something to eat at that French restaurant down the street, the cheap one." Kagome opened her mouth to respond, but Inuyasha kept talking. "And then we can see that movie, _From Paris with Love, _the one with John Travolta?"

"Actually—"

"I figured some French culture might be incorporated since it had Paris in the title and all."

"Do you plan on actually studying, or was this just your grand plan to ask me out?" She was smiling as she asked it though causing Inuyasha's confidence to skyrocket.

"Oh, of course we'll be studying. What kind of tutor would you be if you didn't teach me anything?" Kagome raised a brow, not believing him, as Inuyasha held the door open for her and she stepped outside. "Actually, I could use an advanced course in French kissing."

Kagome stopped dead in her tracks. "I-Inuyasha…" She looked over at her friend for about six months, who had had turned to stand in front of her, her face a deep shade of red. Sure, she had hoped for this but for it to actually be happening was too much to take in. "A-are… are you asking me—"

"In fact," Inuyasha cut Kagome off and, realizing his luck was rooting for him, he wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her close. I say we should get a head start rig—"

"_STOP!" _Kagome screamed, holding up her book to block Inuyasha's lips from hers.

Inuyasha instantly released Kagome and watched as she tried to gather her wits. Great, he had just completely screwed his chances with her by being so forward. The plan was to have her tutor him and slowly show her that they could be more than just friends over time, not to just… _spring _it on her. Why did he have to get so overconfident and do something as stupid as trying to _kiss _her?

"Look, I like you and everything, but—"

"You like me?" Inuyasha cut her off, his ears perking up.

"I… I…" Kagome's face turned bright red. "Um, yeah." Inuyasha's grin almost cracked his cheeks. "But this is going way too fast for me."

"Too fast, gotcha," Inuyasha repeated with a nod, trying to contain his smile some. "That's fine, we can take it slow. As slow as you want."

"Okay…" Kagome had to take a second to process everything. Inuyasha had _finally _asked her out and she just needed a second or two to get a hold of the situation. "Okay."

"So, the date on Friday. Too fast…"

"No!" Kagome blushed at how quick she was to answer and Inuyasha smirked. "The date Friday is a good place to start."

"Cool."

"Yeah."

They stood there awkwardly for a few seconds, both ridiculously happy but trying to play it cool.

"So," Kagome spoke up, "I should get going before my bus leaves."

"Oh, yeah. Yeah. Me… I do too…" Inuyasha babbled, nodding his head, too happy to get his words out right. "So, uh… date tomorrow?"

"At Six. Pick me up at my house."

"Okay."

"And be sure to study," Kagome called over her shoulder as she began jogging to her bus, the engines roaring to life.

"Study?" Inuyasha's brows furrowed together. "For what!"

Kagome stopped and turned around to smile broadly at Inuyasha and the only thing he could do was stare at how the light hit her hair and the wind blew her hair in her face.

"Your _French kissing_, dummy!" Kagome smiled at the way Inuyasha's mouth hung open. "You don't want to fail that test too!"

_**-0-0-0-0-0-**_

_**And that is the first of many random oneshots, inspired by how much I suck at foreign languages. Like it says in the summary, this is a story for all couples and by that I really mean, InuKag, MiroSan, KaguSess, KogAya, and RinSess. Those are the only couples I'm doing and that's it. I'll tell you which couple the chapter will be about in the beginning though, so if you don't want to read about that couple, you'll know ahead of time.**_

_**REVIEW!**_

_**~Kimiko888~**_

**hanmajoerin should've known that this was going to have something to do with FRENCH. hanmajo has told Kimiko888 rather sadly that by the time she makes it to French 3, well, she'll have the same bitter distaste for it as hanmajoerin does for German. Edited? Yeah… :D**

**But incorporating those few French words is really going to help on my test tomorrow! ~Kimiko888**


	2. I'm A Horrible Driver

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha **

**So, yeah, this really did happen to me, but my dad was in the passenger's seat and was pretty calm, but my mom was freaking out in the back seat. My brother and sister were cracking up though and anytime I get behind the wheel they go, **_**vrrrrmmm, **_**as a nice little joke. I was laughing and crying at the same time.**

**I Have a Confession to Make…  
KaguSess**

**I'm a Horrible Driver**

"KAGURA! STOP! STOP! _**STOP THE FUCKING CAR!"**_

I slammed down on the brakes just in time to keep us from flying over the curb and into the middle of the street where cars were zooming by. I looked over at the passenger's seat where my mom was clutching the dash and hyperventilating. I was going to ask her if I should slowly back up, but she grabbed the shift and put the car in park, falling back against her seat, still breathing hard.

"Mom…"

"Get out of the car, Kagura," she said through clenched teeth. "Go get us a table and I'll back the car up and meet you inside."

"But I can—"

"Just go, Kagura," she repeated, her eyes still closed but her breathing calming down; kind of. "I just need you to go."

"Fine," I snapped, opening the door and getting out, taking my bag with me. I slammed the door shut, but my mom was too busy trying to calm down to notice my attitude. Not that I had the right to have an attitude. I did just drive us over the curb and up the slight hill and almost into traffic.

I marched down the small hill and into the restaurant, ignoring the laughter from the few people who saw the whole thing happen. Assholes.

I hate to admit it, for reasons that can only be traced back to my pride, but I'm not the best driver. In fact, I'm a pretty shitty driver, possibly the worst in the world. The only reason I'm even attempting to get behind the wheel is because I'm seventeen and I can't keep bumming rides when I go to college next year. So, I got my permit and now I have to actually learn how to drive. With my _mother! _The lady who panics over the tiniest things!

I was actually doing fine—minus the few times I forgot to check my blind spot—and we were going to make it to Denny's in one piece, until it came to parking. I was pulling in between two cars and my mom thought I was going to hit a car and kept telling me to brake, but I didn't. So I was rolling into the park and it was apparently too close for my mom so she was yelling at me to hit the brake, but my foot was on the brake. But she kept yelling and then _I _freaked out and accidently slammed down on the gas which sent us up the hill and almost into traffic. This was all Mom's fault for not having a better control of her nerves.

I walked over to the hostess stand and told the girl standing there that I needed a table for two. My mom walked in just as the girl got us our menus and led us to our table. I didn't miss the stares and snickers I received as we walked by.

"I've decided I'm going to have you drive with someone else," Mom said after we ordered our drinks. "I just… can't take this kind of stress."

"Fine." It's not like I was hurt that she wasn't going to be driving with me. It was a relief. "Do whatever you want."

**~0~**

I really regret giving my mother free reign to pick my new driving instructor.

"You have _got _to be kidding me!" I looked at my mom who just rolled her eyes as if I was overreacting. "I am not getting in the car with that bastard!"

"Kagura, it's just for an hour and a half everyday for a week," Mom sighed, crossing her arms. "Even you should be able to handle a few hours."

"That's ten and a half hours!"

"Good to see you're getting better at math."

"You," I snapped, glaring at Sesshoumaru when he had to put his two cents in, "wait by the car. You are _not _a part of this conversation."

"You are talking about me being your instructor."

"To the car!" I watched Sesshoumaru walk to his car, still as impassive as ever before looking back to my mom. "I cannot get in a car with him."

"Alright, I'm sorry I broke the unwritten don't-ask-your-daughter's-ex-to-teach-her-to-drive rule, but he was the only one that would fit our budget." Mom looked down at the ground. "He's doing it for free."

I just looked at her. "We don't need any more handouts from the Takahashi's," I reminded her. "We are strong, independent women who don't need men to make ourselves feel better." I know my mom was done dating complete losers that she only kept around because they helped pay the rent, but I felt like she needed the reminder just in case she was headed down that path again.

"The Takahashi's never tried to gain anything by helping us out," My mom said with a sigh as she rolled her eyes. "And just because I screwed up with dating doesn't mean all guys are going to use you, Kagura."

My eyes widened. "We didn't break-up because—"

"Now get over this crazy like mother, like daughter theory you have in your head and learn how to drive." My mom gave me a small smile on her worn face. "I don't like a bunch of strangers picking you up all the time to take you places; makes me worry."

I wanted to protest more, refuse to get in that car, yell at her for being so dumb and agreeing to let Sesshoumaru teach me to drive because he was doing it for free. Didn't she see the obvious warning signs going off all around him? But she's still my mom and she did deserve a break from my constant teenage moodiness.

"Fine," I huffed. "But I didn't break up with Sesshoumaru because I was afraid I'd…" I didn't want to say 'end up like you' and I was grateful when my mom nodded, understanding. "I didn't break up with him because of that."

Not completely, anyway.

**~0~**

"First," Sesshoumaru said, pointing to the pedals by my foot, "gas is on the right, brake is left."

"Is this your interpretation of humor?" I asked, whipping my head around to glare at him. His face was still expressionless as always and it still pissed me off. "Well, it's not funny, okay?"

"I was just making sure you had the basics." He sat back in his seat and fastened his seatbelt and then looked at me. Begrudgingly, I followed in suit, clicking my seatbelt in the buckle. "Did you check your mirrors?"

"Yes." He made sure they were adjusted correctly anyways. I can see why my mom might have chosen him to teach me to drive, even if it wasn't free. Sesshoumaru was probably the safest driver in the world. It goes hand-in-hand with him being as stiff as a board. Following the rules is like his way of life.

"Okay, put the car into reverse and slowly back out of the driveway."

I put the car in reverse and purposefully stepped down on gas to see if I could get anything out of him. He didn't even flinch and I couldn't' stop myself from getting frustrated.

I was afraid of turning into my mom, yes, but Sesshoumaru being so… cold and stiff was another reason; a big part of the reason why I broke up with him. I mean, when you tell a guy you love him—and that is a _huge _step for me—you don't expect a stiff nod and a response of 'that's good to hear'. Maybe if he smiled, even just a little, I could have taken it in stride, but his face remained absolutely neutral, as if my proclamation of love meant nothing and that hurt. A lot. So, I broke up with him.

And now I'm really confused as to why he agreed to teach me for free. Did it mean he missed me or did he just want to torture me? I looked over to see that he was staring out the front window looking as stony as ever. His inability to show emotion wasn't helping my dilemma.

That expressionless face pissed me off.

My foot pressed down harder on the gas. It was time for Sesshoumaru to show some emotion.

There was nothing but open road ahead of us (since Sesshoumaru figured we'd start on back roads) so I didn't have to worry about crashing into anybody. I just might get way off course when speeding around a curve.

"The speed limit is 45, Kagura," Sesshoumaru said in his calm voice. Calm wasn't good. "This isn't the highway, slow down."

I pressed down on the gas harder, hitting 60. I have decided that I am willing to die with Sesshoumaru now, just to get some kind of emotion in his voice, an expression on his face. I wanted him to panic.

"The speed limit," Sesshoumaru reminded me with no inflection. "And we're starting to go down a hill so you should be easing your foot off—"

"Have you ever thought about breaking the rules?" I asked, the funny pitch of my voice not lost on me. I sounded like a mad woman. "I mean, have you once in your dull follow-the-rules-to-make-daddy-proud life, think of being, I don't know, _daring_?"

"Kagura—"

"I mean, _God. _Do you even have a fucking pulse!" I wasn't even paying attention to the speedometer any more. "You just walk around like you're not affected by anything, dead to the whole fucking world! You're like a… a good looking zombie!"

"Please, Kagura, slow down." His voice was still fairly leveled but when I glanced at him from the corner of my eye his hands had reached up to hold the dashboard.

"I told you I loved you, jackass!" I screamed, clearly have lost my mind by now. It wasn't even about getting a reaction out of Sesshoumaru anymore, really. It was about me getting this off my chest so I might finally be able to move on maybe. Naraku has been showing a lot of interest lately. "And what do you do? You don't even smile or… or say, 'I love you, too'. I know you are really, and I mean _really _shitty, about letting people know what you're thinking, but I was hoping that you might let that one moment be an exception." I slammed my hands down on the steering wheel as my eyes started tearing up. "God Damnit, I was your _girlfriend! _ I was supposed to be the exception! You were supposed to let me in!" I was crying now and, without even thinking, I took my hands off the wheel the hide my face. "YOU'RE SUCH AN ASSHOLE!"

"STOP THE DAMN CAR!"

I was so shocked to hear Sesshoumaru, _The _Sesshoumaru, yell at me that I didn't think twice before jamming down on my brakes, bringing us to a abrupt stop and I put the car in park. I looked over at him and he was just sitting in his seat, his face not impassive, but so crowded with different emotions that it was unreadable.

"If you want to have a conversation about our relationship say something next time and not try and kill the both of us while doing it," he bit out. He wasn't yelling, but he was obviously pissed and, as weird as it may sound, it made me happy. "And if you want to know how I felt when you said that you loved me, I was happy. Ecstatic. Why I didn't show it on my face is because I thought you had gotten to know me well enough to see through the damn façade."

My mouth hung open a bit as I stared at him, his fist clenching and unclenching as he tried to breathe correctly. Looking closely I could see the hint of pain in his eyes and the way his lip was twisted would have informed me that he was pissed even without talking. I would have never thought that was what Sesshoumaru was thinking. Never.

"I had let you in," Sesshoumaru continued, his voice tense. "And when you came to me the next day, saying you wanted to break-up I was…" he trailed off, his pride not letting him admit that he was hurt, but I knew what I did hurt him as much as it had hurt me.

"It's not like you came after me," I mumbled. Secretly, in the back of my mind as I walked away that day I was hoping Sesshoumaru would call out to me and beg me to take him back, but he didn't and it hurt that much more.

"If you bothered to answer your damn phone you would have known that I was trying to get you back!" Sesshoumaru yelled as he turned to face me. All I could do was stare at his face that for once, finally, held clear, undisguised emotions. Anger, pain, frustration… love.

It took my breath away.

"You would have known that I loved you, and I was sorry for whatever the hell it was I did! I'm still trying to get you back. Do you really think I would allow _you _of all people in my car for free if I didn't want something out of it!" His breathing was heavy and he was glaring at me, trying to get his point across. "If you really are done, say it. Don't try and kill both of us too—"

I couldn't hold myself back anymore. I grabbed locks of his hair and pulled him down to me, making sure his lips connected with mine. In that moment, the force of his lips on mine as he unbuckled his seatbelt and pushed me against my door told me all that I needed to know. Everything my stupid, immature mind missed when I was dating him.

"I'm sorry," I gasped when we came back up for air. I ran my fingers through his hair like I imagined doing for the months we were apart. "I didn't pay enough attention to the subtle changes in your personality."

"I'll be sure to make them more obvious this time." His voice was back to its calm, neutral self, but it was just so Sesshoumaru-like to deliver a sarcastic line with no inflection that I had to laugh.

He somehow managed to unbuckle my seatbelt when we were attacking each other and he pulled me into his lap as he sat back in his seat, arms circling around my waist. I cupped his cheek in my hand and I stroked his face with my thumb. I saw the corner of his mouth turn up just a little bit and I couldn't help but grin. He probably smiled like this a hundred times before but I was too busy looking at the big picture to see the tiny details, the small things. It is the small things that count, right?

"I'm going to have to let you start driving with your Mom again," Sesshoumaru said after about ten minutes of silence.

"Why?"

"One, it's illegal for someone with their permit to drive with someone who's not 21, and," he looked down at me, and I caught the quick humor that passed through his eyes "You're a horrible driver."

Again, he said it with no inflection in his voice and I laughed.

"That hurts." I rested my head on his shoulder. "But you're okay with having me in the car when we go to the movies on Friday, right?"

"Yeah."

**~0~**

**This would have been up last night, but I fell asleep before hanmajo finished editing. But my school lets me get on fanfiction so I just updated this morning in the library. I don't think I've written any KaguSess and my inner authoress was demanding I created one so here it is! PLEASE REVIEW! **

**~Kimiko888~**

**This upcoming May is when hanmajoerin will find herself behind the steering wheel of a car. Her mother is too much like Kagura's so she's leaving it to hanmajoerin's boss father. hanmajoerin has a bad feeling she might be an even worse driver than Kagura… and Kimiko888 :p . This chapter has been EDITED.**

**I am not _that _bad! -Kimiko888**


	3. I'm In Love with a Demon

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha**

**Okay, this morning I was looking for a book to take to school with me so I could read during class (b/c I get bored in class) and I picked up Crescendo by Becca Fitzpatrick and read the end (the best part of the entire story) and it inspired me to write this one shot. I also had this theory that if I ever meet some supernatural creature I'll run in the other direction as fast as possible, so that also aided my inspiration. Please enjoy!**

**I Have a ****Confession**** to Make…  
InuKag**

**3. I'm in love with a demon**

There is a reoccurring theme in supernatural books besides the main characters always—and I mean _always—_splitting up in the second book. The girl (and it's always the girl that is human), leading the boring life, automatically decides she's going to stick with this guy from a whole other… _planet, _and what happens? Her life is immediately thrown into turmoil and a whole bunch of other supernatural bad guys are out to kill her.

It's insane.

And that's why I have made up my mind; if I ever end up dating a guy who is actually non-human I am dumping him flat on his ass and running in the other direction. Fast. I am just a selfish person when it comes to matters of life and death—I want to live.

But this is the real world, and I'm not living in some of my favorite books. I really don't have to worry about this. It's just something floating across my mind.

~0~

"Kagome," Inuyasha crouched before me as I sat on the couch in our living room and he took my hands in his. "I have to tell you something."

This is it. The moment I have been waiting _three years _for is finally here. Inuyasha is going to purpose to me and I am going to say yes (of course) and he'd slide that beautiful ring onto my finger and I will cover his face with kisses. Then I will run out of our apartment and up six flights of stairs to the roof and scream that Inuyasha is mine forever for all of New York to hear. And it's raining outside so the scene would be that much more dramatic and romantic.

I sat up a little in my seat and cleared my throat, pretending I didn't know what was coming. "What is it?"

"I… I'm…" Inuyasha looked deep into my eyes, searching for my answer before he even asked the question. He really didn't need to be so nervous. "C-can you take my rosary off for me?"

I was surprised. Ever since I've met Inuyasha he has never taken that thing off. Ever. At all. The fact that he wants me to take it off for him must mean he really wants to make this proposal special.

"Okay…" I reached behind his neck and fumbled around until I found the clasp. Inuyasha sucked in a breath of air and leaned into me, closing his eyes as I unclasped the necklace. "There you—"

My voice caught in my throat and my eyes widened as I watched Inuyasha's jet black hair melt to silver. Then his ears (that I had been playing with) disappeared beneath my fingers and two silver dog ears grew out of the top of his head. His hands, which were resting on either side of my legs, sprouted claws and his lip was twitching as he tried to keep something concealed. I took my hands away from where his ears once were and pulled at the edges of his mouth, needing to see just what else was changing.

He had fangs.

"Kagome," Inuyasha's voice was choked up and he couldn't look up at me, "I-I'm a… I'm a demon."

Oh. My. God. Oh my freaking god.

I always figured that I would do three things if something like this ever occurred in my life: faint, demand the person to get out of my house and leave me the hell alone, or grab my bat and go to work (the bat was the first thing I put in our apartment when we moved in. It's my ultimate form of protection for the times Inuyasha is sent out of town). Sitting still and gawking? Now there are two things that were never on my list.

All the planning I had done in my head after reading books were suddenly tossed out the window— forgotten. I was supposed to haul my ass out of here and not stop running until I reached California. I was supposed to scream and run in fright, call 911, flail my arms around, scream for help.

So why the hell am I sitting still!

This is still Inuyasha. I _love _Inuyasha. Even though I now know he has the ability to rip me apart with his bare hands, I can't run away. I don't… I don't _want _to run away.

"Kagome…" Inuyasha looked like he was in pain. "Say something."

"Are… are you going to kill me?"

"Never," Inuyasha whispered, taking my hand and kissing my knuckles. A shiver ran down my spine when his claws brushed against my skin.

"Does anyone want to kill you?" I have to figure out whether or not my life is in danger. Running isn't an option—I can't live without Inuyasha—so I need to be prepared.

Inuyasha didn't answer my question immediately so I started drawing up a list of people I could get a gun from (it was longer than I expected). Then again, I might be going up against demons so I'll need something stronger. An extra potent tranquilizer gun, maybe?

"Not yet," Inuyasha finally answered. "But there's a group of people who make it their duty to rid the world of demons. If they ever find out I'm a half-demon they'll—"

"Wait." Inuyasha looked up at me, he looked paler than earlier. "Half-demon?"

"Yeah, my mom… she was human and my dad was a demon and they… hooked up and… made me."

"Didn't you say your mom was—"

"Killed," Inuyasha finished for me, nodding his head. "The group of people that want to rid the world of demons also go after humans that side with demons. They kill them because they're a bad influence to the people oblivious to the existence of demons. They killed my mom when they found out she had mated with my dad and they eventually killed my dad."

"Then why didn't they—"

"They didn't kill me because my parents entrusted me to Kaede before The Holy Knights found out about my parents' relationship and Kaede gave me the rosary to conceal my demonic traits. I found out about my parents through her."

"Kaede? Who's she?"

"She was a friend of my mother's during the feudal era when I was born. She agreed to keep my identity a secret and keep me safe until I was old enough to be on my own. She's been dead for a long time now."

The _feudal _era? Great. Not only am I dating a half-demon, I'm dating some old man in a never aging body. Okay, a _slow _aging body. _How _cliché.

I rested my elbows on my knees and buried my face in my hands. This is starting to become a lot to take in. Was it really too much to ask for just a simple proposal? I'm going to stick with Inuyasha, no matter how old he is (_over 500 years!)_, but I wasn't expecting there to be so much background information.

"Kagome…" I felt Inuyasha's hands move up my legs to rest on my thighs and I leaned forward, resting my head on his shoulder, burying my face into his neck. God, he smelled good. "I-I had to tell you this because I… I want you to be my mate."

More terminology to learn. Fan-freaking-tastic. "Mate?"

"Yeah," Inuyasha swallowed, pulling away from me and lowering my hands from my face to look me in the eyes. "It's kind of equivalent to wife in demon terms, but we mate for life so that means your lifespan increases to match mine." Inuyasha looked away from me and ran a hand through his hair. "And I just bite your neck to mark that you're mine during… _it._"

That saves a lot of money on paying for a wedding. And a lot of stress.

"So… this is kind of like a proposal?" I asked, wanting clarification. Yes, even through the information overload all I can manage to care about is whether or not Inuyasha is asking me to spend forever with him. The fact that my life could be on the line doesn't seem to matter as much.

"Yes," Inuyasha started, "but you really need to think about this, Kagome. You'll have to start lying to your friends and family, we'll have to move when people begin to notice we aren't aging at the same rate, having kids would be hard because we would be putting their lives in danger, and you'll be putting your life in danger and I can't—"

"Yes," I cut him off, nodding my head. "I want this. I want to be your mate."

"K-kagome?" Inuyasha seemed shocked at how quickly I accepted everything. I'm not surprised, since I did tell him a couple of times how stupid I thought girls in the stories were for just jumping in head first without thinking anything through… but I couldn't find the will to deny him, deny myself from being with him.

Lord save me, I'm becoming an idiot.

"Kagome, this is really serious." Inuyasha looked me in the eyes, trying to convey how important the situation was. All I could do was drown myself in his gold eyes. His violet eyes were amazing when he was "human", but he was absolutely gorgeous in his true form. His hair, his eyes, his _ears. _"I'll leave for a while so you can think clearly about—"

"I don't need to think this over," I snapped. "I've thought about all the consequences of the girls I read about in books, so I know what I'm getting myself into." I scooted up to the edge of the couch and wrapped my hands around the back of Inuyasha's neck and brought his forehead against mine, looking into his eyes. "I love you, Inuyasha," I whispered. "You're worth it."

I finally understand all those girls I call stupid; they're in love. Of course, I knew Inuyasha for about five years before I decided I'm willing to throw my life into complete and utter turmoil for him. So I'm still smarter than them, but I get where they were headed. When you love someone, _really _love someone, you'll do anything to be with them. Your life isn't that important anymore, you wouldn't mind jumping in front of a bullet for that person.

"Kagome, I don't want you to regret—"

I shut Inuyasha up by pressing my lips to his and my own heart exploded in my chest the second our lips came together. I love this man so much, it's dangerous. I slid off the couch and into Inuyasha's lap, straddling his hips. My fingers worked their way through his hair and a shiver ran up my spine when I felt the tips of his claws run up my sides as he pulled me closer to him. His fangs nipped at the bottom of my lips and I gasped, letting him in. I reached my hand up to stroke one of his ears and Inuyasha sighed against my lips and lifted a hand to knot it in my hair, bringing me down closer to him. It was like kissing him for the very first time.

"Do we have to wait to be mates?" I asked when we broke apart for air. "Can we just do it tonight?"

Inuyasha smiled up at me and pecked my lips. "No."

"Why, is there some kind of ritual we have to go through first?"

Inuyasha shook his head and smiled, pushing my bangs out of my face. "There's no ritual."

I was getting confused again. "Okay, so what's the problem? You said you just had to bite me when we—"

"We're going to get married first," Inuyasha cut me off, reaching into his pocket. "And then, on our wedding night, we'll mate." Inuyasha took my left hand (which was still tangled in his hair) and slid the ring he had pulled out of his pocket onto my ring finger. "It's more romantic that way. You like romantic stuff, right?"

"I write sappy, romance novels for a living," I mumbled, wiping tears away from my eyes. "I live for romantic scrap like this."

Inuyasha leaned in to kiss me, but I stopped him leaning back. He looked confused and cocked his head to the side, his left ear twitching a bit. God, he's just adorable.

"What?"

"I have to do something first," I told him, sliding off his lap and standing up. I grabbed my coat off the back of the couch, shoved my feet into my boots, and ran towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Inuyasha asked, now standing up as I turned the knob. "It's pouring outside. And it's freezing."

"I'm just going to the roof," I assured him, stepping out the door. "I'll be right back!"

I shut the door behind me and took off towards the steps, taking them two at a time to get to the roof as soon as possible. I was headed up my third flight of steps when I heard footsteps behind me. Looking over my shoulder I saw Inuyasha jogging up behind me. He was back in his human form.

"Why don't we just take the elevator?" He suggested, as he picked up the pace so he was behind me. "It's easier."

"It's not as dramatic." We turned to head up the fourth flight of steps. "We're almost there."

By the time we finally made it to the roof I was panting and Inuyasha held onto the railing to catch his breath. When I opened the door and saw the down pour I was hesitant to go outside, but only for a second. I ran outside to the railing and looked over the edge to the city. The lights blurred in the rain and I could see people sprinting across streets, hurrying to get under the awnings of stores.

I took a deep breath and belted out, "INUYASHA TAKAHASHI ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM AND HE'S GOING TO MINE FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY!"I shouted so loud that my voice cracked.

I felt arms circle around my waist and I turned around to look Inuyasha in the eyes through the curtain of rain.

"We ran all the way up here just for you to tell the world that?" Inuyasha asked over the rain, his wet bangs beginning to block his vision. "It's a bit over the top."

"It's something I'm very proud of."

Inuyasha kissed the top of my head and then my eyelids. "I love you too much, Kagome."

I ran my fingers through his wet hair and just smiled at him as the rain drenched us. I brought his face down to mine and our lips slipped over each other and he hugged me closer to him and I wanted to melt into him, forever molded together.

"You need to stay in your demon form when it's just the two of us," I whispered when he pulled away. "I like seeing the real you."

Inuyasha smiled and leaned back in for another kiss but stopped a centimeter short.

"Wha—"

"I ASKED KAGOME HIGURASHI TO MARRY ME AND SHE'S GOING TO BE MINE!" Inuyasha looked down at me and pressed his forehead against mine. "Forever." He kissed my lips. "For all of eternity."

Lord save me, I've fallen hopelessly in love with a man—demon, no, half demon, that is going to turn my life upside down.

I dug my hands into Inuyasha's hair and pulled him down against me, never wanting to let him go as the rain drenched us.

It's official, I've gone insane.

**-0-0-0-0-**

**Hmm… the original ending I had for this was much better, but I'm the scattered brain type and I went to eat dinner and completely forgot it. Becca Fitzpatrick just had me in that supernatural mood the other day (her books are really good). So, Hopefully you liked this enough to REVIEW!**

**Holy Knights was hanmajo's idea because she was in a punny, Christmasy mood when I texted her for a secret cult name.**

**Ahahhahaha, good one German. Thanks for the C – this week. It came in handy…**

**~hanmajoerin**


	4. I Want to Travel the World

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha**

******I was inspired, yet again, by a book. And my own dream to travel, but this idea didn't come to me until I was reading part of Kate's story in _Bass Ackwards and Belly Up. _It has absolutely nothing to do with Travel buddies, but Kate left Magnus because she was afraid she'd fall in love and never continue her search for her dream (sorry if I spoiled anything) and that's what led me to write this. So read and enjoy!**

**I Have a Confession to Make****  
****MirSan**

**4. I want to travel the world**

**_Looking for a Travel Buddy!_**

I plan to be traveling for the entire three months of summer vacation and I would  
like somebody to accompany me. You will have to buy your own plane tickets  
and have your own money to support yourself while traveling, but if you read this flyer  
and are mildly interested and reach the following requirements, please  
contact me, Sango Tanaka,at **_586-3781_**

**You should have:**

-Money for the trip  
- Speak one of the languages spoken in visiting countries  
- A good sense of direction  
- Good at reading maps  
-Trained in self defense

**Places I'm going:**

- Japan  
-France  
- Italy  
- Greece  
-Morocco

"This is a really stupid idea," Kagome told Sango as she watched her friend staple another flyer to yet another bulletin board hanging around campus. "Like, _really _stupid."

"No, this is a _genius _idea," Sango corrected Kagome. "Just like people put up ads asking for babysitters, I'm putting up ads for a travel buddy." Sango ripped a flyer offering tutoring off the bulletin board and replaced it with her own. "Parents don't really know the babysitters that well when they have them look after their kids and I won't really know my travel buddy."

"Sango, you're considering traveling the _world _with someone who can possibly be a complete stranger! There is a _huge _difference between babysitters and your 'travel buddy'."

"You're making this sound way worse than it really is," Sango brushed Kagome off as she handed Kagome her staple gun and bent down to pick up her stack of flyers. "I will be going with somebody from this school and I'm starting a whole _five months _early in my search for a travel buddy. This way I'll get to know them before we spend three months together in five different countries." Sango started down the hall and Kagome followed. "And need I remind you that I wouldn't have to be doing this at all if you hadn't bailed on our plan since freshman year of high school?"

"Sango..." Kagome sighed. "I haven't seen him in a long time."

"I know, I know," Sango waved off with a roll of her brown eyes. "You just _had_ to go fall in love with Inuyasha and the two of you just _had_ to attend schools on two opposite coasts and you just _have _to spend every summer in each other's arms 24/7. Oh, to be young and in love. _Not_."

The last thing Sango wanted to do was fall in love before she finished everything she had planned for her life. Love just happened to get in the way of goals because that significant other is more important than anything else on earth. Kagome is a prime example. When they were fourteen, Sango and Kagome declared they were going to travel the second they got their money together and see the world before their bones started to creak. Well, as luck would have it, Kagome met Inuyasha their sophomore year and the two fell in love and were, like... _in love; _the nauseating, goo-goo eye making, secret rendezvous, promise-ring-giving kind of love. Of course, Sango was happy for the two of them - they were both ridiculously happy - but that was until Kagome decided to blow off traveling the world with her so she could spend her entire summer with Inuyasha after he went to Stanford for business and Kagome stayed on the east coast to attend NYU with Sango. Apparently, spending time with the boyfriend you are in love with was _waaaay _more important than seeing the world.

Bull. Crap.

At first, Sango was _pissed _at Kagome for just throwing their plans (the ones they had planned for over _six years_) out the window. She had been working her ass off for years so she could travel as soon as possible and then Bam! Kagome drops out because of a pair of pretty eyes and cute ears. It's not like Sango was going to go to another country all by herself because... well, she just _couldn't. _It was too much to take on. After realizing that Kagome _really_ loved Inuyasha, and Inuyasha wasn't going to break her best friend's heart, she stopped resenting Kagome and decided to learn from her friend's mistakes.

Sango wasn't going to worry about love until after she's filmed a movie that surpassed _Avatar, _is nominated for every movie award that exists, and sees the world. She'd be damned if she fell so helplessly in love that she'd decide to put her dreams on hold for the jolt of electricity she felt when some guy touched her. The swelling of her heart could wait; it's not worth giving up her dreams.

"Sango, why don't you wait for somebody you actually know to get enough money to go with you," Kagome suggested, biting her lip nervously. "I just... you shouldn't go traveling with a stranger."

"Okay, seriously Kagome?" Sango picked up a flyer and positioned it on the bulletin board. "You're acting like this travel buddy is going to be a guy when it could actually be a girl. And you're forgetting the fact that I have a black belt and can kick anybody's ass up and down the street."

"I know, but it's still a really big deal to be traveling the world with some guy - person," Kagome corrected herself when she caught Sango's look, "that you barely know."

"Kagome, I am doing this no matter what and it's going to be this summer and it's going to be the best thing that's ever happened to me. Staple gun." Kagome set the staple gun in Sango's waiting hand. "I am first going to reconnect with my roots in Japan, then put those torturous years of French to good use and go to Paris and fuck a hot guy on a nude beach. And do you know how many places in Africa speak French?" Sango punched staples into the flyer. "I can ride a camel in Morocco! And then I can find a really sexy Italian guy in Rome and spend two weeks in bed with him, and then," Sango spun around, throwing her hands up in the air, "it's off to Athens!"

"I think you might have a lot of built up sexual frustration."

"The point is, this trip is going to happen." Sango stapled another flyer to the board and took a step back, admiring her work. "It's going to happen."

-x-

"I am losing my fucking mind!"

"You don't say." Kagome fed herself another spoonful of ice cream as she watched Hunter and Hunted. It's a bad day when the only thing to watch was cougar attacks in Vancouver. "How was this one? Crazy, creepy, or broke?"

"It's worse," Sango sighed as she fell onto the couch beside her friend and draped her arm over her face. "Takeda got hold of a flyer."

"You did put them all over campus. I'm actually surprised he found out about this so late."

"Kagome!" Sango looked over to her best friend and gave her a serious look. "There is no way in hell I can travel with a guy that's in love with me. It completely destroys the point of me going to travel."

"I thought you wanted to just _see _the world."

"Yeah, but I don't want to fall in love while I'm seeing the world!"

"But you want to bang a lot of guys," Kagome sang as she pulled her spoon out of her mouth, ignoring the death glare Sango sent her. "Always use protection. There are a bunch of nasty diseases these days. And seriously," Kagome added as she spooned some more ice cream, "stop bashing love. Love is amazing."

"Says the girl who's in the perfect relationship." Sango smothered her face with a throw pillow resting on the couch. "I hate travel buddies."

"Why don't you just deny him like you did the first twenty potential travel buddies?" Kagome suggested. "You were like Donald Trump when you denied all of them."

"That's because they all had something seriously wrong with them. Takeda just likes me and it's kind of awkward to be traveling with a guy who likes you but you don't like him. My easy, breezy summer would be ruined by the tension." Sango sighed and pulled the pillow away from her face. "But it seems unfair to deny someone of their summer plans because of something so stupid. And Takeda is fluent in Italian and his family is loaded which means _he's _loaded."

"Oh, now I get it," Kagome started nodding her head. "Takeda will be able to translate while you try to hook an Italian beau for two weeks and he will be able to foot the souvenirs' bill."

"I'm not using him," Sango sighed. "He's just the only one who fills the requirements and the trip is only a month away."

"It looks like you have a month to get in some serious bonding time with Takeda."

"Shoot me."

-x-

"So... do you like... bread?"

It was either cheese or bread, and bread won out. Conversation topics are not easy to come by these days.

"Oh yes. Especially French bread because it's always so... fresh, you know?"

"Oh yeah," Sango mumbled, nodding her head as she drew random lines in her notebook."It's Febreeze fresh."

"You're funny Tanaka," Takeda laughed and Sango had to fight the urge to roll her eyes. "People worry about the carbs in the bread, but you do so much walking..."

If putting up flyers for a travel buddy was her first mistake, agreeing to let Takeda accompany her on the trip was next in line, because this guy is as dull as... dull. She finally agrees to let him take her out so they could get to know each other and he chooses a library. To study for their history exam. Nerds even have more sense than to take a girl to the library on the first date. The first date can either make or break you, and Takeda was definitely broken. Unfortunately, Sango was stuck with him for the next four months or so because he was her travel buddy and she would have to learn how to keep her eyes open when he spoke.

"I think we should check out some of the historic spots in Japan while we're there," Takeda suggested, flipping through his history book. "I really think that..."

_No, no, no! _Sango screamed in her mind. This was going all wrong. He was supposed to follow her plans, not make some of his own and expect her to just hop on the bandwagon. She wanted to visit her family in Japan, go shopping in Tokyo, revisit some of the places she went to when she was still a kid living in Kyoto. She wanted to relive sentimental moments, not be a tourist and look at temples. Sure, she would probably do a few tourist-y things, but she was looking for adventure and inspiration on this trip, not enriched culture.

Sango almost found herself resenting Kagome and Inuyasha again for sticking a fork in her plans. The truth was though, that _she _didn't have the guts to set Takeda straight once and for all and tell him why she didn't want to travel with him, so she made the stupid choice of taking him on as her travel buddy. She also didn't have the guts to just travel by herself. She was being stupid, thinking that she would be able to relive sentimental moments while she was traveling with somebody who knew nothing about these sacred places and she had no desire whatsoever to share them with him.

"Ha ha ha!" Takeda laughed at his own joke (that Sango missed), but she forced herself to smile and nod. "This trip is going to be the most exciting thing ever!"

_That makes one of us, _Sango thought bitterly. Her plans were slipping through the cracks in her fingers.

"You know what," Sango said, gathering up her materials, "I really need to get going. Kagome and I have... plans to do a girls' night tonight, and it would just so rude of me if I bailed on her," Sango lied, standing from her seat. "But this was really… um... it was great getting to talk to you a little more out of history class."

"Well, I had a great time. I hope you did too."

"Yeah, I did... I have to go." Sango smiled at Takeda as she pushed her chair under the table, ready to flee. "I'll see you in class Wednesday."

"I can't wait!"

Sango only offered a hand over her shoulder as she hurried out of the library as fast as she could without it looking like she was running away from Takeda (which she was). Takeda wasn't really a bad person, but he just wasn't the type of person Sango could see herself with. At all. Just imagining traveling with him for three months was hard enough for her to do. She wanted to travel with a fun, outgoing, and charismatic person. Unfortunately, Takeda fell short in all those categories. She needed someone who was willing to just close their eyes and randomly point to a location on the map and let that be their adventure for the day. Sango was tired of planning. She planned her schedule, the steps to her future, what she was having for dinner - now she needed to just _live. _She wanted to walk with her eyes closed and—

"Day dreaming while walking is quite dangerous, Sango dearest." Sango's eyes snapped open and she looked up to find Miroku smiling down at her, an arm wrapped around her waist. "You almost ran right into me."

"I... I, um, sorry," Sango stumbled over her words. The fact that his arms were wrapped around her was making it hard for her to talk correctly. "I was just... thinking."

"About me, I know." Miroku smiled down at the girl in his arms and pulled her closer to him, enjoying the way her cheeks went up in flames. "At least I now know the feeling is mutual. It broke my heart to think that you might not think about me when you're the only thing that runs through my mind all day."

"Don't be so full of yourself," Sango snapped, her annoyance over ruling her embarrassment, but a light shade of pink still painted her cheekbones at the proximity of the two. "And it was more like I was walking and you decided to take advantage of the fact that my eyes were closed."

"Take advantage is such a... crude description. I was simply keeping your from running into a creep."

"I don't think anyone is creepier than you," Sango mumbled and Miroku pretended to be offended. "And get your hands off of me, lech!" He wasn't feeling her up yet, but there was only a matter of seconds before his infamous hands started to wander.

"Oh Sango, don't you know that once I have you in my arms I can never let you go?" To prove his point, Miroku pulled Sango in close to him, crushing her body into him and enjoying more than just the feeling of her chest against him. He liked that he could smell her body wash clearly, feel her breath against his neck, and revel in all the heat that she had to offer. There was so much more to hugging Sango than just her breasts, but he was too afraid to figure out what made Sango so special.

"Get off me!" Sango shouted when she finally awoke from the daze Miroku's cologne had sent her in. She pushed against his chest and he finally let go of her. Sango sunk her teeth into her lip to keep from whimpering at the lost for contact. _She _was the one that forced him away, dammit. She shouldn't react like that! "Why do you find a need to annoy me every single day?"

"I have a reason for my run-in today," Miroku explained, pulling a piece of paper out of his back pocket. It was one of her flyers. "I got this yesterday."

"How did you get that?" Sango demanded to know, reaching for the flyer but Miroku held it out of her reach. He was hoping she would jump for it. He looked down at her chest; it would have been an amusing thing to watch. "You don't even go to NYU!"

Miroku worked at a bar not too far from where Sango lived and performed a few nights. He just so happened to live right above Kagome and Sango in their apartment building. The point was that Miroku didn't go to college, which meant he didn't go to NYU, which meant he definitely _should not _have a flyer in his hand. And yet he did, which meant...

"No," Sango denied him, shaking her head. "Absolutely not."

"I am great with directions. Who was the one you called all those times you got lost during your first few weeks in the Big Apple?"

"You," Sango answered reluctantly, staring at her feet. "But—"

"And you know how hard my parents were on me when I was young, so I know quite a few languages," Miroku pointed out, cutting off Sango's argument. "I'll make sure you don't order any weird Greek food."

"Miroku..."

"And you also know my parents are loaded and, even though they're disappointed about me dropping out of Columbia, they'll still give me the travel money to see the world. They'll love to brag to their colleagues about how their son is off traveling the world." Sango opened her mouth to try to stop him, but Miroku continued on. "And don't I have to explain to you the subway map _every time _we go to the subway together?"

"I have a bad memory," Sango muttered, embarrassed at how hopeless she was when it came to reading a map.

"Come on, Sango," Miroku pleaded. "I am perfect to be your travel buddy. And we have great chemistry together so the trip would be the best thing anyone would ever experience."

Sango bit down on her lip again. She knew that she and Miroku had great chemistry together and that was one of the main reasons as to why she didn't want to travel with him. Well, _couldn't _travel with him. She would be lying to herself if she said she didn't _want _to travel with Miroku. The problem with Miroku is that he has a lot of potential to be the road block in her dreams. If it wasn't already happening, Sango would definitely fall in love with the cute bartender that lived one floor up and she was afraid of what would happen if she did. She was afraid that she would fall so deeply in love with the man before her, that her goals would change and she would never live out her dreams because love would be so much more important. That thought terrified her.

If Sango went on this trip with Miroku she would be sentencing herself to three months in five different countries with the ultimate temptation and a girl could only hold out so long before she gives in. If Miroku went along with her on this trip he would not only be her travel buddy, but her French hook up and Italian lover. Except their relationship wouldn't simply end when morning broke or when her stay in Italy was up. No, it would keep on going and developing and eventually Sango would fall in love and then...

"I already filled the spot," Sango told Miroku. "I'm going with this guy from my history class."

"Okay then, tell him you found somebody else," Miroku suggested, sliding his hands in his pockets and rocking back on his heels. "You don't want to travel with a guy you barely know."

"I actually happen to know Takeda pretty well and he's..." Sango trailed off, trying to think of the right word to describe the dull guy. "Nice. He's nice. And he respects my personal boundaries unlike some people I know!"

"I only do it because your body is so tempting," Miroku said with a wolfish grin as he took a step closer to Sango and Sango gasped when she realized her back was now pressed against a wall. "And you know we would have a lot of fun together. That's what summer's all about, right? Fun?"

She was afraid that they might have a little _too _much fun together.

"I already promised Takeda the spot," Sango informed Miroku. "There's only a month left and he's already making sure his flight is booked well in advance and I just can't tell him he can't go all of a sudden."

"I already booked all my flights," Miroku told her and Sango's eyes widened. "I don't think you understand how much I want to go on this trip with you."

"I can't—"

"So what if something happens to this guy and he can't walk or he's in a coma? Will I be able to go then?"

"Are…" Sango's eyes narrowed. "Are you _threatening _Takeda's health?"

"Again," Miroku said, taking a step closer, "I _really _want to go on this trip with you."

Sango pressed her back into the wall behind her, wishing it would just swallow her whole. He was practically on top of her, his breath gently moving the bangs over her forehead. "Back off, Miroku," she ordered with barely any meaning. Her mind was screaming for him to come closer, to close the gap between them.

"You don't mean that," Miroku said, pressing his forehead against hers and he almost leapt with joy when she didn't punch him in the gut. "You would have knocked me out already if you really cared." His gaze locked with Sango's and he looked at her seriously. "Every time we get this close you always throw this wall up and I'm kind of tired of it. Traveling with you should break that wall down, right?"

Right. Her wall. Where was her wall? Why wasn't it shooting up and blocking him out? What the hell was _happening?_

_"_I think it's already broken," Sango whispered, horrified at what she had just said. She stared at Miroku unblinking as his lips inched closer to hers.

"You're not going to stop me?"

"You won't take away my dreams, right?" Miroku stopped the progress he was making and looked down at Sango confused. "You're not... being with you isn't going to stop me from pursuing my dreams, right? You won't hold me back?" Sango blinked back tears she felt beginning to form. "God, that was a stupid thing to ask."

"It was really stupid," Miroku deadpanned, looking down at Sango. "I would never do that."

"But... but what if..." Sango looked down at her feet. "Never mind." There it was; her wall. "We shouldn't do this. I have to—"

"No, Sango," Miroku cut her off, frustrated. "Dammit, _no. _You always do this when we're just _this _close and I'm tired of it. Please, _please _just tell me what the hell it is that you're so afraid of!"

"What if I fall in love!" Sango shouted back. "What if... what if you mean more to me than my dreams and I put them on hold for you and later I'll end up resenting you?" Sango closed her eyes, mortified that she had actually voiced her thoughts. "That's what I'm afraid of! I'm afraid of falling in love like Kagome did and having my dreams change. I'm afraid of waking up one day and realizing that I actually do want my old dreams and I'm afraid I'll start hating you." Sango took in a deep breath. "And that's why I think we should wait until we are both completely happy with our lives before we try to form a relationship so—"

"No," Miroku said shaking his head. "No."

"But—"

"Sango, you are so stupid." Miroku looked into Sango's eyes. "I won't let you hate me and I _won't _let you be unhappy. You over think everything way too much." He pressed his forehead back to hers again. "And I can't keep waiting for you, but for some really, _really _crazy reason I can't let you go." His lips were so close to hers now she could practically feel his next words. "So this is going to happen. Okay?"

"Okay," Sango whispered, her lips dying to be pressed against his.

"I'm going to kiss you now."

"I won't pull away," Sango promised.

"Good."

His lips touched hers gently at first and Sango inhaled deeply through her nose. His hand slowly slid around her neck and cradled her head to help support her as he applied more force to the kiss. Sango's books fell from her hands and she worked her arms around his neck, pulling him in closer. Her nails dug into his shoulders as she clawed into him, refusing to let him go, and he pressed her against the wall firmly, deepening the kiss as his tongue slipped into her mouth. The two completely forgot about the fact that they were in the library and people were looking at them as they got lost in each other.

"You're going to tell that other guy no," Miroku mumbled when they pulled apart for air.

"Yeah," Sango nodded, but she could care less about Takeda at the moment. "We should go... somewhere."

"Kagome was right," Miroku laughed as he pulled away from Sango, examining her flushed face and listening to her heavy breathing.

"Kagome?" Sango asked. "What does she have to do with anything?"

"She gave me the flyer," Miroku explained. "She also said you had a lot of built up sexual frustration and she was afraid you'd lose your mind in a foreign country and come home with a disease. She gave me the flyer because she thought it was better if you got all that frustration out on somebody you knew."

Yes, she was definitely going to kill Kagome, but right now Sango was still having trouble focusing on anybody else but Miroku. The way he was smiling at her, the way her hand fit in his when he took hold of it, the way his eyes shined when he looked into her own. He hadn't even groped her once. It was almost perfect.

"So we should definitely go to my apartment and get rid of all your frustration, right?"

Sango slapped him and Miroku winced at the all too familiar stinging and Sango couldn't help but smile.

Perfect plans and perfect love obviously doesn't exist, but she felt like with him, she'd manage.

**_-0-0-0-0-0-_**

**_Finished! I hope you liked this chapter! I've decided to make every other chapter an InuKag chapter, just to let you know, so you can be expecting that next. I actually have the plot for the next two chapters so I have to just type... Yeah, we'll see how that goes. Please Review!_**

**_And just in case you're wondering (because I have been behind on updating) I AM getting around to updating One Year of Hell and Confessions of a Band Camp Geek. I even have plans for the next NoRMaL chapter. In fact, all of Confessions of a Band Camp Geek has been planned (8 page outline!) so I just need to find some time to type. I was really busy with finals befores and I'm adjusting to the workload of this semester's classes, but I'm getting around to updating. Promise._**

**_~Kimiko888~_**

Because nothing says freedom like the end of my German career and Biology path.

~hanmajoerin


	5. My Favorite Number is Three

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha**

**I was thinking a lot about the number three and I came up with this short oneshot. I really hope you enjoy it.**

**I Have a Confession to Make…  
InuKag**

**5. My Favorite Number is Three.**

I like to decide things in threes. I don't really know what started it—maybe the whole "third time's a charm" or "third's the one with the treasure chest" thing—but threes just seem to work for me. I decide whether or not a band is good after I listen to three of their songs. I decided to actually try in math after I received my third F on a report card. It took Kikyo's three prom proposal rejections for me to ask Kagome out even though she was just my friend (no one wants to look stupid by going to senior prom alone). Kagome was a junior, meaning she was _three _years into high school, so that gave me faith in my decision. It took me three dances to realize I might actually like Kagome more than a friend. Three weeks for me to ask her out, three months for her to agree, and three years for me to finally come to the conclusion that, despite how emotional and irrational she can be, Kagome was definitely a trade up from Kikyo.

The number three has also helped me make bigger choices in my life, too. I decided that the longest I will wait for someone I love to return after they leave on some trip is three years and then I'm moving on. Actually, Kagome was studying abroad with some stupid medical program for three _and a half _years, but if you divide those six months into two you end up with two sets of _three _months. And, considering it was Kagome, waiting those few extra months was worth it.

I'm now twenty-four, making Kagome twenty-_three_, and it's the third month of the year on the third week on the third day (Wednesday, because I still count Sunday as the last day of the week). In my own way, I guess I am a bit superstitious, but threes have always worked out for me and I'm not about to screw this up by abandoning my lucky number.

"Three seconds," I told her when a commercial came on the TV, her head resting on my lap. "That's all it takes."

"Takes for what?"

"For me to know you're my soul-mate."

Kagome turned her head to look up at me, her eyebrows scrunching together. "I like to think that we're already soul-mates since we've been dating for years and we live in the same apartment and share the same bed."

"The three second test will just confirm it then."

"The what?"

"If I stare into your eyes for three seconds and I feel _it _I'll know you're my soul-mate."

"What's _it?" _Kagome asked, putting air quotes around the word _it. _"And where in the world are you getting this idea from? Did you get high with Miroku again?"

"No, Kagome," I sighed. It only took me _one _time to realize drugs aren't the answer. "I told you, I'm done with that shit. Hallucinating in Calculus does crazy stuff to your mind."

"And I don't date druggies."

"That too. But we were talking about soul-mates."

"Right." Kagome reached for the remote and shut off the TV before sitting up next to me. "What's _it?_"

"I don't know. It's _it._"

"You're positive you're not high?"

"Scouts honor. So let's do this." I took Kagome by the shoulders and tried staring into her eyes, but she snapped them shut. "What the hell, Kagome?"

"What If you don't feel _it_?" she asked with her eyes still squeezed shut. "What if I'm not your soul-mate?"

I'm 3000% sure that Kagome is my soul-mate, but watching her squirm… It's amusing. To think that she's actually afraid that she isn't my soul-mate—ha! I feel this so called "it" every time she walks in a fucking room. I don't even think it's healthy for my stomach to clench and my heart to speed up the way it does.

"Then we break up," I lied to her. "We should both be with our true soul-mates in life."

Kagome cracked one eye open. "That's not funny."

"I wasn't joking." I was flat out _lying._

To my horror Kagome actually looked sad. _Shit._

"You'd seriously just dump me if you don't feel some… _tingly feeling?_ You'd just wipe your hands off and be done with me?"

"Nobody said anything about a 'tingly feeling'. And it would probably take me some time to get over you, but you seem to understand the rules of the game."

Kagome crossed her arms and glared at me. "The _rules? _I don't think there are _rules _to love, Inuyasha."

"Which is why we're talking about soul-mates; it's an entirely different level from love." Kagome looked like she wanted to strangle me and cry at the same time. "I find it insulting that you think I won't be your soul-mate."

"No," Kagome said shaking her head. "I'm afraid _I _won't be _your _soul-mate."

"Is there really a difference?"

"Yes. To me there is a very big difference." I still don't see the difference in changing the wording. "And I find it insulting that you need some stupid test to prove that we belong together."

"So you already think we're soul-mates?" I asked.

"I already _know._"

"Then why are you so afraid of a little test?"

Kagome opened her mouth to spit out another retort, but she stopped herself. She bit her lip and looked up at me, hesitating before she turned around to fully face me, tucking her legs beneath her.

"Alright," she said, looking at me with determination in her eyes. "Let's take your stupid test."

"We don't have to if you don't—"

"Inuyasha!" she barked and I almost jumped. "Let's just do it."

"There's a sexual innuendo in that sentence." She looked like she was really about to strangle me at that very second. "Okay." I turned around to face her completely. "Start… now."

I stared into Kagome's blue-grey eyes and it amused me how hard she was trying to concentrate on making me feel _it. _Her lips were slightly pursed and her forehead creased with concentration and I almost laughed, ruining my nice little joke. When three seconds were up I looked away from her, reaching for the remote on the coffee table and turning the game back on.

Kagome waited an entire minute before she cracked.

"So?"

"So what?" I asked as number 24 missed an easy layup.

"So did you feel _it? _Are we soul-mates?"

Kagome has got to be the most gullible person on the planet.

"Did I break up with you?"

"No…"

"Then I guess we're soul-mates." I turned to give Kagome's face a goofy grin. "Did you really have your doubts?"

"Uggghhh!" Kagome groaned and flopped herself back on the couch, her head resting on my lap again. "You could have said something!"

"And miss that reaction? Nah." I ran my fingers through her hair and Kagome rolled her eyes. "Your face was absolutely priceless."

"You're a jerk," Kagome grumbled as she turned to make herself comfortable again.

"Oh. I almost forgot." I reached into my pocket and pulled the box that had been waiting for months to be opened at the right time. "Since you won, you get a prize."

Kagome raised a brow at me. "A prize?"

"Yep." I brought the box out so she could see it and her jaw dropped. "Why are you making that face?"

"Inuyasha…" She looked at me and then at the box and then at me again. "You're seriously…"

I popped the box open with my thumb so she could see _Will you marry me?_ written across the top.

"Oh my God."

"Pretty nice, right?" I grinned at her as she started blinking back tears, reaching for the box. "Only took me three stores to find the perfect one."

"You're supposed to be on one knee when you propose," Kagome said, taking the box from my hand to stare at her engagement ring.

"Not really my style," I shrugged. "And it completely makes the fact that I'm proposing obvious. I like the genuine look of surprise on your face."

"You didn't say it though."

"Say what?"

"You didn't ask me to marry you." Kagome looked up at me expectantly. "I do like some of the traditional ways of a proposal."

I sighed. And to think I was almost able to propose while maintaining every ounce of my pride. I should have known things wouldn't be that simple with Kagome.

"Will you—"

"Uh-uh," Kagome said shaking her head and I started to panic until she continued. "You have to say my name."

"Kagome Higurashi," I started over again, looking down at her face on my lap as she tried to keep her lips pressed together to keep from smiling, "will you marry me?"

"Are you asking politely?" she teased.

"Will you _please _marry me?" She grinned and _it _was running a rampage in the pit of my stomach. "Not that you really have a choice considering we _are _soul-mates."

Kagome laughed and then wrapped a hand around my neck, bringing me down closer so she could kiss me.

"Yes," she whispered after the first kiss. "Definitely yes."

Yes. I decided I liked that word a lot. Not only was it followed by a million kisses, but it was also the promise that Kagome was going to be mine and no bastard could lay a hand on her if they didn't want to be ripped limb from limb.

And yes only has three letters.

**_-0-0-0-0-0-_**

**_Yes, I am highly aware of the fact that this isn't a "confession that should have gone wrong", but it was a nice short oneshot and I wanted to stick it somewhere and this collection just so happened to work. Kagome and Inuyasha have really been circling around weddings—third chapter her proposed_****and the long inukag chapter that was _supposed _to be confession 5 deals with a proposal_—so from here on out there will be no more proposals. I'm done with them. I hoped you like this chapter though! I will be returning to a high school story for the next inukag oneshot. After hanmajo edits the one I already sent her actually so you can expect… chapter 8 to be a high school story. Please review!_**

**_~Kimiko888~_**


	6. I Enlisted in the Army

**I have this super long KouAya oneshot that's in the works for this story, but I really wanted to move this collection along so I'm updating a really short drabble now and I'll have the really long one up later. Hopefully.**

**I Have a Confession to Make…  
KouAya**

**6. I enlisted in the army**

If he—_when _he makes it back I am going to kill him. I am going to take a shotgun and shoot a bullet right through his heart, just so he knows the feeling of having your heart broken to tiny pieces. In other words, I want Kouga to understand the way I feel right now. Really, who the fuck tells their girlfriend of two years that he's leaving for war _a day before he's scheduled to leave? _I'm going to kill him.

_"I didn't want you to worry," _is what he told me. As if having the bomb dropped on me only hours before would make it that much better. It didn't! At least if he wasn't such a wimp and told me when he first signed up for the army, I would have been able to prepare for today and wouldn't be such a heartbroken mess. Making up that lie about going to Japan to visit his sick grandfather when he was really at boot camp did _nothing _to make me feel better. It just makes today worse.

"If… if you don't come back I'll kill you," I mumbled, trying to keep my tears at bay. "I swear to God, Kouga, if you leave me here all alone I'll—"

"You'll kill an already dead man?" Kouga asked, trying to be funny when I was _serious. _I glared at him and he cupped my cheeks, wiping away tears that I don't remember shedding. "I'm going to be fine, Ayame."

"You're not invincible," I hissed. "Don't do anything stupidly heroic and get yourself killed."

Kouga chuckled and I wanted to punch him for being able to find humor in this situation. He could _die _oversees. I love America, but if Kouga dies protecting our country… I will be really pissed off. And a letter of condolence from the President isn't going to make me feel any better, either.

"Oh, I almost forgot." Kouga dropped his camouflage duffle bag onto the ground and knelt down, zipping open the front zipper and picking out an envelope before standing up and handing it to me. "Don't open it until I'm gone."

"So you do pay attention to the chick-flicks I make you sit through," I mumbled, wiping at my tears again. "This is very _Dear John _of you."

The bus driver honked the horn, signaling it was about time for Kouga to leave, to go to war where he might die, and cause me to never see him again. My chest clenched and I felt a new wave of tears working their way to the surface.

"It's time for me to go," Kouga whispered, looking over his shoulder at the bus before turning back to me. "I'll see you later."

"You better," I choked out, tears still falling down my face. Dammit, if he had just told me earlier I wouldn't be such an emotional _wreck. _"I'm going to kill you when you get back."

Kouga didn't laugh this time and pulled me into a fierce hug, crushing every bone in my body with his arms and I burrowed my face into his shoulder, my body shaking. I wrapped my arms around him and fisted the back of his shirt. I didn't want to have to let go. I didn't want him to leave me.

The horn beeped.

Kouga slowly released me. He wrapped a hand around my neck and gave me a slow and meaningful kiss before he stepped back, his hand trailing down my arm and the back of my hand until he reached the end of my fingertips.

"Smile," he whispered. "I don't want to remember you crying when I'm alone in the desert." I tried to stop my tears from falling and offered him a wavering smile. "Much better."

"Hurry up, son!" The bus driver shouted and I decided I would add him to my hit list. "I'm on a schedule here!"

"Asswipe," I heard Inuyasha mumble from behind me. I had completely forgotten that the rest of our friends had come to see Kouga off too.

"Time to go." Kouga gave me a weak smile and he threw his duffle bag over his shoulder. "I'll miss you, Ayame."

He turned his back to me and started walking away. I stared at his back and it really sucked to watch him walk away.

"Wait!" I shouted and Kouga stopped—much to the bus driver's dismay—and turned back around to face me. "Walk backwards."

Kouga raised a brow. "Why?"

"Because I don't want to remember your back being the last thing I see of you for the next few months."

Kouga smirked and walked backwards toward the bus in a slow march that reminded me of how we met in marching band. Well, I was in marching band and Kouga was the lazy bum that would sleep on the bleachers or point and laugh at our dorky uniforms while we practiced. I didn't know he was actually spying on me at the time.

"Bye Kouga!" Kagome called out to him, waving madly along with Sango and Rin. Inuyasha offered a small wave while Miroku blew my boyfriend kisses. Sesshoumaru just stood there.

I looked down at the letter in my hands and a thought occurred to me. "You never told me where I was supposed to send my letters for you to." Kouga gave me a weak smile. "Don't just smile, answer me!"

"I love you, Ayame."

I glared at him as he took his first step on to the bus. "You're supposed to answer the question!"

"I don't want to risk my last words to you being the address of some military camp in case I don't come back."

"You're not supposed to say that," I mumbled, the tears starting to resurface. He was supposed to be the cocky bastard that he was always was and say he was invincible, untouchable. He was supposed to promise his return.

"I love you." He said one more time and the second he had both feet on the bus the driver slammed the doors shut and took off down the road, taking the love of my life with him.

No… Wait. He had to come back! He had to come back! I… I forgot to say _I love you, too._

I will _kill _that bus driver.

But, at the moment, I fell to my knees in tears, my body being wracked with my sobs all over again. I felt an arm wrap around my shoulders to serve as some sort of comfort, but the only thing I wanted at that moment was Kouga.

"You know, he hasn't actually died yet…"

I'll just add Inuyasha to my hit list, right under the bus driver.

I looked down at the envelope in my hands and ripped it open as fast as my shaky hands allowed me. I lost all ability to breathe when a dog tag that had _Property of Kouga Ookami _stamped on it fell into my lap.

Property? I was his _property!_

I hurried to rip the letter out, hoping there was a good explanation for his choice of a gift.

_Yes, Ayame, you are my property because you are _mine. _And by using the word "property", it means that anybody who tries trespassing has given me a reasonable cause to shoot them as soon as I get back. I'm not trying to be demeaning or anything – don't listen to those crazy feminists, Sango and Kagome—I just don't want some other guy to try and snatch you from me while I'm away._

I wiped away my tears and smiled down at the letter. God, I actually do love this possessive lunatic.

_I was going to give you a ring so people would know you were taken, but I'm going to propose to you in person, not through letter. And I know it's wrong to try to tie you down with an engagement to a man who may not come back from the middle east alive, so I'll wait until I come back to propose. Don't think that means I'll be okay if you find another guy that makes you happy, because I won't be. I'm a selfish bastard, which means I don't want anyone else to have you but me. And if you're feeling that sexually deprived _suck it up! _If I can do it, you sure as hell can too. Cheating is not at all allowed in our long distance relationship._

_I really don't have much to say accept that I love you. And I need you to wear that dog tag so guys know who they'll be messing with if I ever find out someone laid a hand on you. And I'm sorry I waited until yesterday to tell you about the army, but—if you repeat this to anyone I will _hurt _you—I was afraid of what you would do. You're a nutcase and I was afraid you'd cut off one of my most valued body parts. _

_ And I love you. Again._

_I'm going to stop writing before anymore insanely sentimental and mushy crap comes out of this pen._

_Put the damn chain on._

_Love,  
Kouga_

I smiled and laughed a watery laugh, slipping the chain that held my dog tag over my head, silently promising myself to never take it off. I kissed the letter before placing it back in its envelope and carefully placing it in my bag as if it was the most valuable item on the entire planet.

Yeah, I love you too, Kouga.

Now he just needs to come back alive so I can tell him that.

_ **-0-0-0-0-**_

**_That one was short and I hope you liked it. I was actually inspired when I was reading something about how much it sucked to have to stare at a person's back when they walked out on you, and that pretty much fueled this oneshot. The next chapter is already typed and now I'm just waiting for hanmajo to actually edit it and then I'll post that too._**

**_This is dedicated to Ron who just got back from training for the army. An hour long visit isn't long enough!_**

**_~Kimiko888~_**

The army can be a scary place, good luck, Kouga!

~hanmajoerin


	7. I Ruined an Engagement Party

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha**

**Well, this idea took me forever simply because I hated the ending and for over a year I couldn't figure out how to rewrite it. I was thankfully hit with inspiration early one morning before I had to volunteer at the library and I got it done. This just emphasizes how picky I can be over endings. Endings and beginnings are always the hardest and most important to me. If I'm not interested in the first ten pages of a book, I usually don't continue reading it.**

**I Have a Confession to Make…  
InuKag**

**7. I ruined an engagement party **

This wasn't supposed to happen. At all.

When we met again, we would run into each other at the coffee shop or the club or the park— _not here. _I was supposed to be done with culinary school and have my own restaurant to brag about. It wouldn't be anything huge, just a nice little place where restless insomniacs and curious lunch breakers would wander into. They would realize how great the food was and my restaurant would become their regular eating spot. Of course, I don't have my own small restaurant to brag about or _any_ accomplishments, for that matter, which only emphasized how much of a failure my life was.

This is going to be the first time I've see him in years and while he's become an amazing billionaire business man, all I did was drop out of college, ditching my business degree, and realize a year after of doing nothing but talk to hobos (literally; I sat down and started conversations with them sometimes) that I wanted to be a chef and run my own business and that I'd work my way through school. It's a good career path, honestly, but I was supposed to be off the career path and on the _career_ by the time I met Inuyasha again. I was supposed to _impress _him. Working for your best friend's catering service wasn't impressive.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror. Black pants, white button down shirt, a black vest and _no _sex appeal. My hair was pulled back though and I've been told I have a pretty face so at least I had something going for me. Even with a pretty face, I had nothing on Drop Dead Gorgeous, otherwise known as Kikyo.

I sighed and grabbed my purse, heading for the door of my apartment.

It doesn't even matter what I look like. I'm catering his engagement party.

-x-

"You should really consider changing up the uniforms. You know something a little more flattering to our body types so—"

"Get the crab cakes out the oven! Where's the ice? For fuck's sake, where the hell are the cups!?" Sango was too busy shouting at everyone to bother with my suggestion. "Kohaku, you're supposed to be working the bar!"

"Hard to make drinks when there isn't any alcohol."

"_What!" _Sango's voice raised an octave and the entire kitchen flinched. "Did we seriously forget the drinks?"

It wasn't anything new, actually. Every time _Cater to You_ got an important gig to cater we ended up screwing it up. Last time, Sango managed to book a dinner party for this huge real estate agency and we forgot the meat. It's just how the Tanakas run their business—constant chaos. It keeps the workers on their toes.

"I got them!" Shippo appeared through the kitchen door that led outside, a box full of clinking liquor bottles in his hands. "We put them in the other van."

"Thank God," Sango sighed in relief. "You and Kohaku hurry up and start mixing drinks at the bar. Maybe if they're drunk they won't realize that the food is behind."

"I can help you with the cooking," I offered, hopping off my spot on top of the island. "I am a really good cook."

"You're an excellent cook, Kagome," Sango agreed as she pulled a tray of mini cheese biscuits out of the oven and started lining them up on trays to be served. Her hair was starting to fall from her ponytail and her apron was splattered with a number of unidentifiable substances. "But, I don't need your excellent culinary skills tonight; I need your excellent skills at being able to balance a tray without spilling the contents all over the floor. Eri has spilled two trays of drinks already tonight."

"That's what Eri's good at…"

"You're right. Why did I give her a drink tray in the first place?" Sango shook her head. "I am too busy to even think straight tonight." Sango handed me a tray of pigs-in-a-blanket. "Please serve the hungry, important people until the actual dinner is ready."

"Really, Sango, I am fine with staying in the kitchen." The engagement party was being held at Sesshoumaru's mansion and I had immediately fallen in love with his kitchen. Hanging around in here all night would be no punishment at all.

"I have too many people in the kitchen at this moment and it's making me claustrophobic. And you can't waste your superior cooking skills on petty things like throwing crab cakes in the oven."

"I can taste the food to make sure it's right!" I argued, as Sango pushed me towards the swinging kitchen doors that would lead me to what I've been avoiding. "I could add the spices that are needed to make the food amazing!"

"I have a higher demand for servers than I do for taste testers at the moment," Sango said as she continued to push me closer to the doors. "And as the duty of your best friend, I have to force you to face your problems."

"Problems?" My voice was shaky as I tried to laugh it off. "I don't _have _any problems."

"The man you're in love with is engaged; you're entitled to have issues." Sango shoved me through the swinging kitchen doors to face the sea of rich people looking fancy in their expensive tuxes and dresses. "Now you have to deal with it."

The doors swung shut in my face before I had the chance to run back in.

-x-

Inuyasha and I were best friends throughout most of high school. We met second semester of our sophomore year. Our science teacher made us lab partners and after we finally stopped arguing with each other we realized we shared a connection. Soon we started hanging out with each other before school, then at lunch, then after school, and then we never went a day without talking to each other.

It wasn't exactly a healthy relationship. We argued over really stupid things, and those petty arguments somehow turned into screaming matches followed by silent treatments. Once, I refused talk to Inuyasha for a whole week because he didn't apologize to Kouga about whatever stupid thing they were arguing about (high school was six years ago so the details of the arguments are scarce, but I know it was stupid. Kouga and Inuyasha always argued about stupid stuff).

To make an extremely long and complicated story short, I liked Inuyasha; liked, liked Inuyasha. I was seriously in love with him. But college came, we both had different ideas for our futures, we went our separate ways and the long distance couldn't keep the dynamic duo together and… yeah. This is the first time I'm seeing Inuyasha in six years and the first time I'm talking to him in four.

If I managed to stay hidden this would be a painless night. I wouldn't have to see Inuyasha and be reminded of all the things I love about him only remember, seconds later, that he's _engaged. _Really, we're only twenty-four; I don't even have a career yet! How can he be taking such a huge step and tying the knot so _young?_

_He has to be making a mistake, _I concluded as I smiled politely at the man who was reaching for his sixth biscuit. I would have moved away by now (people have a three appetizer limit), but I was too busy checking the area to make sure I avoided Inuyasha to cut the man off. When the man reaches for his seventh snack, I'll find somebody else to hide behind.

"Kagome!" I whipped my head around to see Eri coming at me. "Kago—"

"Shh!" I hushed her, looking around to make sure nobody turned their heads, heaving recognized my name. The coast was clear. I moved towards Eri, just avoiding the man's reaching hand. "What is it?"

"Please," Eri motioned to the tray of wine glasses that trembled in her hands, "take it."

"I—"

"Sango says she'll fire me if I spill one more tray." Eri's eyes were teary. "I don't understand; she knows I can't balance a drink tray, but she keeps giving me wine glasses instead of appetizers. I need this job, Kagome. If I don't pay my rent—"

"It's okay," I assured her. "We can just switch trays. Sango's a bit… stressed so she's forgetful tonight. I'm positive she's not purposefully setting you up for failure. Here, just… give me your tray first and then you can take mine." Eri carefully set her tray down in my open palm and then took the tray of crab cakes from my other hand, visibly relaxing. "See? No problem at all."

"Thank you, Kagome. I was going to die if I had to try balancing those things any longer."

"It's nothing. Oh, and the fat man in the blue tie has already had six biscuits so avoid him and actually try working the room."

"Gotcha'." Eri then headed off into the crowd looking a lot more comfortable than she did a minute ago. I scanned the area for any alarming sights of silver hair and then moved back into the crowd.

If there is one thing I enjoy about catering—which doesn't really go past the fact that I'm getting paid—it's the fact that it is our job as waiters to be invisible. A person isn't supposed to notice I'm there as they pick food off my tray and today that comes in handy. As long as these people don't notice me, the chances of Inuyasha finding me decrease. And I only have three and a half more hours to go.

I know Sango would call my reluctance to face Inuyasha cowardly, but I'm just trying to be the bigger person and avoid bringing any conflict upon this engagement. What if I was stupid enough to actually _tell _Inuyasha I love him? Good heavens, now _that _would be a true disaster.

"I deserve more than this," Kohaku declared as he started making some concoction. I was spending a few minutes with Kohaku and Shippo at the bar as part of my avoidance tactic. "I'm not a bartender, I'm a _mixologist._"

I snorted. "'A mixologist?"

"The fancy name for bartender," Shippo explained.

"It's not a bartender! A mixologist is in a whole separate group from bartenders. Unlike a person who just hands out drinks, I would make different kinds of new drinks. What I would be doing would be considered _art. _It's what I should be doing."

Since when did making cocktails become an art?

"I think you should both stay in school," I told them, sliding off my stool and lifting my tray. My fifteen minutes in one place was up. "A steady career is the way to a happy life."

"Didn't you drop out of college?" Shippo asked.

"And I went back to get a steady career and I'm this much closer to a happy life."

"Sango is holding me back," Kohaku continued on ranting, ignoring my advice. "This family business is nothing but a burden that…"

I turned my back on Kohaku and started to weave my way through the party goers again. Kohaku was still young, but he'd learn that a mixologist wasn't a promising career choice.

_Big, burly guy, where are you? _I scanned the crowd for the right body type to hide behind when I stopped dead in my tracks.

Inuyasha was _right in front of me!_

I could see his profile as he talked to some guy who seemed important, Kikyo attached to his arm. Holy crap, if he turned around he would be looking straight at me. A part of me wanted to just stare at him and take in how he changed (tanner, taller, more muscular), but I was highly aware that staring would lead to affection which would lead to heartbreak because Inuyasha's getting married. The only thing I could do was run away before he noticed me.

Inuyasha started to end his conversation with the man and I panicked, spinning around—

"Shit!" I shouted before I could even stop myself. I crashed into someone who was standing behind me and spilled wine all over his expensive suit. "I, um, I mean, I'm so sorry." I set my tray down on the floor and pulled out the cloth I carried around in my back pocket for situations like these. "I can help you get this all out," I informed him as I scrubbed at the man's suit (though it only seemed to make the stain worse). "You know, my mom told me that if you squirt a little lemon juice on a stain it can get anything— "

"Still as clumsy as ever I see," a familiar impassive voice spoke up and I froze. Slowly, I looked up at the man whose suit I was scrubbing and my stomach dropped.

Sango was going to kill me.

"S-Sesshoumaru!" My voice squeaked and I immediately stood at attention as if Sesshoumaru was a general.

"Higurashi," Sesshoumaru deadpanned. "This was an Armani suit. A few lemon drops won't get rid of this stain."

Ah, it really _was _expensive. "I'm so sorry," I apologized again. "I was just trying to… to…"

Oh God. My cover must have been blown— considering I just spilled drinks all over the host of the party… I probably attracted a lot of attention. My back was ramrod straight as I was paralyzed with the fear that Inuyasha might be standing right behind me.

_He's only looking at the back of your head, _I tried to reassure myself. _He might not recognize you. Honestly, how many girls with black hair live in Japan? Exactly!_

"Kagome?"

And this is why being an optimist is useless: optimists are wrong about all the time.

I really didn't want to turn around, but how rude is it to ignore someone when they're calling your name?

"Kagome, is that you?"

My cover was blown. I had to face the consequences and deal with my worst nightmare: facing Inuyasha when he's about to get married to someone who isn't me.

"Hey!" I said enthusiastically as I turned around with the biggest and most believable smile I could pull. "Oh my God, it's been forever! I had no idea you were going to—it's been so long!" I had to change my story when I realized how stupid it sounded to pretend like I didn't know I was catering his engagement party.

"K-Kagome?" Inuyasha looked dazed— as if he couldn't believe he was looking at me right now. "Holy shit."

"Surprise," I offered with a sheepish grin.

"Holy _shit." _Inuyasha shook Kikyo off his arm and pulled me into a hug that crushed every bone in my body. I wrapped my arms around his torso and squeezed him as tight as possible, relishing in the feeling of our bodies being momentarily mashed together.

"What the fuck happened to you?" Inuyasha asked as soon as we pulled apart. He was smiling as if I was the best thing that happened to him all day. "I thought I smelled you, but I seriously thought my mind was just screwing around."

"No, I'm seriously here." I looked at Kikyo who was starting to inch her way closer to Inuyasha again. _Unfortunately._

"This is amazing!" Inuyasha declared, shaking Kikyo's hand off his arm again without even realizing it. "I thought I was never going to see you again."

"Fate just brought us together again." Inuyasha's smile was starting to get contagious and I found myself truly smiling at him. "I did kind of miss you."

"Well that's funny," Kikyo interjected. "I mean, considering you stopped emailing him and everything."

_Only after I found out the two of you were back together again._ The corners of my lip twitched, wanting to scowl at Kikyo, but I forced myself to continue smiling at her.

"Kikyo!" I faked like I was happy to see her. I was never happy to see Kikyo. "It's… um… You still look _amazing._"

"Only one of the many perks to working in fashion." Kikyo was the editor of an extremely popular fashion magazine. Out of complete betrayal to myself, I've actually read it a couple of times. "So are you working for Sango now?"

"No! I… I mean yes, but this is only temporary." I glanced at Inuyasha, but he didn't seem to care what my current job was. "I'm actually a chef. Er, an _aspiring _chef. I have to finish culinary school and then I'm hoping I'll be able to take out a loan so I can open my own restaurant."

"Wait a second." Inuyasha looked a little confused. "I thought you were going to school for business."

"You're looking at a proud college dropout." I pointed to myself and tried to smile at how bad that sounded. I was well known for not finishing anything I started (art projects, soccer seasons, 10k races—those things are _insanely _long—promises to tell Inuyasha how I feel, never getting my black belt in Tae-Kwon-do, etc.). "But that year of wandering the streets made me realize I wanted to be a chef with my own restaurant."

"How cliché," Kikyo mumbled.

"That's great," Inuyasha insisted, ignoring Kikyo. "You'll sell ramen at your restaurant, right?"

"There will be a special named after you," I promised and Inuyasha smiled at me. "Well, I have to get back to work so…"

"Can't you get somebody else to cover your shift?" Kikyo looked horrified at Inuyasha's suggestion, but Inuyasha paid her no mind. "I mean, this is the first time we've seen each other in _years. _Can't Sango make an exception or something?"

Spending time catching up with Inuyasha would be great. Spending time catching up with Inuyasha while Kikyo is around and during his engagement party? Yeah, not so much.

"I can't," I apologized and Inuyasha looked disappointed. "I still have to clean up the mess I spilled all over your brother."

"I'm surprised you even noticed I was still here," Sesshoumaru intoned again. And actually, he was right: I didn't know Sesshoumaru was still here. I thought he left and I would have to go look for him which would have made a great reason to leave. "It's not necessary; I have another suit waiting upstairs. I was warned of this catering service's… _mishaps_."

"Our food makes up for everything," I lied as I picked up the tray from the ground and the now empty glasses. The food often has a burnt taste to it because things always get so hectic and Sango forgets about the food. "I need to actually do my job though, so I'll see you guys around."

"Yeah, we'll definitely have to catch up with each other." Inuyasha smiled at me as I started walking away. "I'll catch you later."

"Yep," I nodded over my shoulder. "We'll talk later."

-x-

"Sango!"

"You!" Sango glared daggers as soon as I walked through the doors. If I didn't have such important news, I might have been afraid of the knife clutched in her hands. "Did you seriously just spill red wine all over the floor?"

"And Sesshoumaru."

"_Kagome!"_

"I just ran into Inuyasha again."

"Holy shit!" Sango forgot whatever speech she planned to deliver me and took interest in my story. "How'd it go?"

"It was great," I admitted. "I didn't realize how much I missed him until he was there in front of me. And he just kept _smiling."_

"That means he missed you, too," Sango declared. "Inuyasha doesn't smile that much."

"I know. But then Kikyo made her presence known which reminded me of the fact that he's getting married and that just made everything suck." My life isn't fair. "So can I _please _hide in the kitchen for the rest of the night? I'll stuff myself in a cupboard; you won't even know I'm here."

"No!" Sango shouted. "Kagome, this is your chance to tell him! I'm not going to let you hide in the cupboard and miss your chance."

"What chance!?" I gaped at her. "He's _engaged!"_

"So? he's not _married._" Like that really makes a difference. Trying to steal someone's fiancé is just as bad as trying to steal their husband. "You can still tell him how you feel."

"Sango, he got down on one knee and actually confessed his love to someone and wants to spend the rest of his life with her." I looked at her in the eyes to make sure she got what I was saying. "That's a big step for Inuyasha which means he _really _cares about Kikyo." Somehow. "A little confession from me isn't going to change anything."

"You don't know that for certain unless you try."

"Well, I'm sorry for wanting to be proven right." I picked up a tray of food that was resting on the island and started heading towards the kitchen doors again. I pushed a door open with my back. "Adding salt to an open wound is stupid, Sango."

"Giving up before you try is stupid, too."

-x-

When I walked back through the doors again Inuyasha was waiting for me, his hands tucked away in his pockets. Kikyo was nowhere to be found. I was stupid for thinking I could avoid him for the rest of the night after making contact.

"Just can't get enough of me," I teased as I approached him. "Kikyo?"

"She found some of her friends to talk to so I thought I'd wait for you to come out of the kitchen." Inuyasha pointed to the small albino girl standing next to him that I just noticed for the first time. "This is Kanna. She is one of Sesshoumaru's maids."

"Um… hi." Kanna looked at me with no emotion in her red eyes and made no attempt to shake my outstretched hand. My brows furrowed and I shot Inuyasha a questioning look before turning back to Kanna. "I'm Kagome. I work for the catering service."

"I've cleaned up three of your messes today," Kanna finally spoke in monotone. "Red wine is not an easy stain to get out."

"Right. So, um, _why _are you here?" I came off sounding rude, but I was having trouble connecting the dots.

"Kanna has agreed to take over all your catering duties," Inuyasha explained and my jaw involuntarily dropped. "You are now free to spend the rest of you night with me."

"B-but…" I was scrambling for words as Kanna took the tray from me and ventured off into the crowd. "I don't know if Kanna is cut out for the catering business," I lied. She was barely noticeable; she was perfect. "There are men who can get grabby and she doesn't know how to combat them. She doesn't know about the three piece limit!"

"I didn't know my presence was such a burden on you," Inuyasha pretended to mope and I rolled my eyes.

"I just think it's morally wrong for _me _to be with the soon-to-be-groom at his _engagement _party," I pointed out. "I think these things are meant for the honorary couple."

"I'm half of the honorary couple. I can do whatever the hell I want."

"Most people expect you and Kikyo to be together."

"To hell with what everyone expects!" Inuyasha shouted, causing a few heads to turn. "Besides, this was just an excuse for Sesshoumaru to meet a few more potential clients. He's taken a hobby in investing in people lately."

"So this is all work related." I shook my head. "Is this what you've become? All work and no play?"

"I get to play now." Inuyasha lifted bottle Jack Daniel'soff the floor where it was resting by his foot. "Courtesy of the bartender."

"He's a _mixologist,_" I corrected Inuyasha.

"What?"

"Nothing," I said as I shook my head. "So… where should we do this?"

"Roof? I'm kind of tired of all these stuffy people."

"Lead the way, buddy."

Inuyasha threw his arm over my shoulder and led me towards the stairs. Either he was honestly oblivious to the odd looks guests were giving us or he really didn't care. I didn't care which it was; I just cared that we were about to be alone together on a roof with absolutely no interruptions.

Just like old times.

"Damn," Inuyasha huffed when we finally found a good resting spot on the roof. "I was in better shape when we used to do this."

"We were closer to the ground too," I mumbled, peering over the edge. I thought I wasn't afraid of heights, but sitting on top of Sesshoumaru's mansion had me questioning a few things. "Sesshoumaru bought a huge house for only himself."

"I wouldn't say he's alone," Inuyasha suggested as he unscrewed the top off the bottle. "He needs somewhereto hide his late night hook ups."

"Ew!" I shouted and Inuyasha smirked as he tipped his head back to take a swig. "Sesshoumaru does not screw around on a regular basis. That's a very _un-_Sesshoumaru like thing to do."

"I don't know, but those secretaries at our building give him a lot of lustful looks." Inuyasha handed the bottle to me and I put my lips exactly where his were before drinking the alcohol down. Since I can't get the real thing, I took all the indirect kisses I could.

"We're discussing your brother's nonexistent sex life," I laughed. "I think we should change the subject."

"Alright then, let's talk about you." Inuyasha stared at me and tipped his head to the side. "Kagome Higurashi, a grand chef." He shook his head. "I remember you being infamous for burning every grilled cheese sandwich you made."

"Well, I learned how to make the perfect grilled cheese now, bub. I've got it down to a _science_." You cook it on low and use a lid so the steam will melt the cheese before the bread burns. I got the science of cooking it down perfectly, but I lied when I said I could actually _make _the perfect grilled cheese. I never seem to get the cheese to melt before my bread burns. Give me some salmon to cook and I can make the best damn fish ever, but I'm still useless when it comes to making grilled cheese. I decided to label that simple sandwich as below me.

"And working for Sango is just a stepping stone in your big success story?"

"She needed extra help and I needed the money." I drank some more whiskey and then handed the bottle back to Inuyasha. "It was a perfect match."

"You didn't want to be some big shot's personal chef, making tons of money?"

"Absolutely not!" I shouted. "Something about working for a rich snob is just unattractive. They wouldn't appreciate my cooking the way I want it to be appreciated."

"Glad to hear you think so highly of us," Inuyasha mumbled as he brought the bottle to his lips, looking at me out of the corner of his eye as he drank. "I would have hired you in my kitchen. If I knew where you were and if I knew you were a chef-in-training."

There was a little bite to that last sentence.

"Mmhmm…" I hummed, pretending not to notice the slight hostility. "And I could waste all my talent cooking you ramen."

"I'll let you cook other things. You could make my dessert."

"In my own restaurant, I'll be able to cook whatever I want." I took the bottle from his hand and took a large gulp. "I'm actually never going to get my own restaurant."

"Since when did you become such a pessimist?"

"Spending time in the real world where Mom doesn't pay for everything makes me realize that the world is expensive. It's going to take me twenty years just to pay off my student loans and opening up a restaurant is a gamble, but I don't really have many options left. I don't plan on working for _Cater to You _my entire life." I took another swig from the bottle and scoffed. "Not that you have anything to worry about, Mr. Richie Rich. How's that inheritance been treating you?"

"You could always work for a fancy restaurant," Inuyasha suggested and I rolled my eyes, drinking down more whiskey.

"If I even pass frickin' culinary school." Inuyasha raised his eyebrows in question as he took the bottle from me for himself. "I make good food, I do, but everyone else there makes _great _food. When I'm being compared to those cooks for grades, my grades aren't as good."

"I see." Inuyasha took a lot of whiskey in, focusing on the sky before he finally removed the bottle from his lips. "I'll open a restaurant then and just let you be head of the cooking staff," Inuyasha declared. "Now you've got your future set."

I gave him a tightlipped smile and leaned into his shoulder. "You're the best, Inuyasha."

He could think that I was actually going to take him up on his offer, but there's no way in hell I'm working for Inuyasha— he could find me on a regular basis. I can't be regularly available to him when he's about to start a future with Kikyo; I don't _enjoy _having my heartbroken. And when they start planning a family together? I can't even fathom the thought of Inuyasha running into me at work and telling me Kikyo is pregnant with his first child. It's just _horrible. _

So that's why I needed a small, barely noticeable restaurant. After tonight, I planned on never seeing Inuyasha again.

We were quiet for a long time, just passing the bottle back and forth between us while looking up at the sky. I really missed these silent moments between us.

"Why'd you do it?" Inuyasha finally asked what had been bugging him all night. "Why'd you stop emailing? And ignoring my calls? And never bothering to send any of my letters back?" Inuyasha's eyebrows furrowed together and he scowled a bit. "Fuck, did you even _read _those letters?"

So this is why he led me to the roof; to push me off as punishment for abandoning our friendship.

"No." Yes, I read every single letter he sent, but lying that I didn't made me feel less guilty for never returning any letters of my own.

"Why not?"

"Because… because I didn't see the point anymore," I lied again. When did I start lying to Inuyasha so much? "Letters and emails just weren't enough for me, so why bother trying to keep a friendship that was going to fall out sooner or later?"

"Well aren't you stupid," Inuyasha scoffed. "Fucking stupid, Kagome."

"I recall it being me who was considered the smart one." I needed to steer this conversation away from all the serious talk and back to our reminiscing. There are a few things I'm not ready to admit that this conversation is bound to lead to.

"We weren't going to fall out," Inuyasha hissed. "We were best friends, Kagome! You don't just decide to cut the ties and not tell anybody!" I flinched at his yelling and reached for the bottle. "And when the hell did you start lying so much?" I winced. I was hoping six years apart would dull his sense of being able to tell when I lied. "What's the real reason you stopped talking to me?"

_I can do this, _I tried to tell myself. _I can tell the truth. _At least when we go our separate ways this time, I won't have any loose ends still hanging around. It'll be a clean break with no regrets.

I opened my mouth to tell him. The words were there— I had practiced this speech over a million times and I knew just what to say. But Inuyasha was engaged. He was getting married. My words were going to fall to deaf words anyways, so why bother wasting my breath?

"It's nothing," I mumbled, looking down at the almost empty bottle in my hands. "It doesn't really matter anymore."

"It matters to me."

"I'm sorry, okay?" I couldn't tell him the truth so I skipped right to apologizing. "I shouldn't have dropped off the face of the earth, but… I had to." Inuyasha shook his head, not believing it. "I'm really sorry, Inuyasha, but I do still love you. You're my best friend."

"Yeah," Inuyasha said, looking off into the distance. "Best buds."

_No, I really love you. I _love _love you. _It would have been so easy to say. Just a few words waiting at the tip of my tongue, waiting to be said to him and if I tried, I know I could do it. I could actually tell him the truth before he makes the mistake of marrying Kikyo.

I kept quiet.

"You know," Inuyasha started after a brief silence, "I used to really like you in high school." I froze. "I had a huge crush on you back then."

_Don't do this,_ I silently begged. _Don't torture me like this._

"It was the typical story where the guy falls in love with his best friend. But, it didn't work out for me in the end." Inuyasha kept his eyes forwards, away from me. "I still loved you those two years after college. If you hadn't cut me off I probably would have never made it more than a month with Kikyo. But, things didn't work out that way and now…"

"Now you're engaged," I reminded him, my voice tight. I was staring down at my lap, my hands fisted into my pants. I couldn't do this to myself. I couldn't let all the scenarios of what could have been if I had only gotten the guts to tell Inuyasha I loved him earlier run through my head. "You're engaged to be married."

"But what if I never stopped—"

"Inuyasha," I hissed, cutting him off. I was shocked and didn't know what to say, but if he finished that sentence, everything, _everything, _would spin out of control. "Y-you're engaged. You're getting married. You love—"

"Kikyo proposed," Inuyasha hurried to confess. "I just felt guilty if I said no."

Why was God doing this to me? Why was he making everything so damn _confusing _now? I was supposed to say my goodbyes tonight and never look back. I would move on with my life and convince myself that Inuyasha wasn't really the one for me, that there were more fish in the sea. I wasn't supposed to have a _chance._

"Don't do this, Inuyasha," I mumbled, blinking back tears. "Don't do this to me."

"Kagome, if I'm going to marry Kikyo I can't have any regrets. I can't leave anything unfinished if I want to be a good husband. You are a lot of unfinished business. Kagome," I was beginning to panic and I started chugging down the last of the whiskey, ignoring the unpleasant burn as it trickled down my throat, "I think I still—"

"There you two are!" We whipped our heads around at the same time to see Kikyo's head popping out of the window just a few feet below us. She was smiling, but I could see the daggers she was throwing my way. "The dinner is finally ready. Come on, so we can eat."

"Yeah…" Inuyasha looked at Kikyo and then back at me, begging me to do something with his eyes. I couldn't read him like an open book anymore though; I didn't know what he wanted.

"I should get back in there and help," I started to say as I stood up on the wobbly ground. This is why you don't go drinking whiskey on the roof. "Sango's probably having a panic attack by now."

"Kanna is still taking over all your duties," Inuyasha reminded me. Why did he want to torture me more by keeping me here? "You can eat dinner with us."

"Inuyasha," Kikyo started, having trouble hiding her disdain. "She's not really… _dressed _for the occasion."

"She'll be fine," Inuyasha insisted. He looked down at me. "She can give the congratulatory speech."

I stared at him wide eyed until he finally started making his way down the roof towards Kikyo. Why would he do this to me? Why would he punish me by making me give him away to someone else, pretending I'm okay with him marrying Kikyo? Why did he _do _this?

"Sesshoumaru is supposed to—"

"Sesshoumaru's speech was going to be boring anyways," Inuyasha waved off. "Kagome will do it."

"But I—"

"Okay then," Kikyo agreed, sensing my reluctance and suddenly loving the idea. "Kagome will give the speech."

Inuyasha gave me one last look and I shot him a pleading glance which he ignored before climbing back through the window.

I stared at the place where he once stood and took my last indirect kiss and gulped down the last of the whiskey before stumbling down the roof and back into the house.

My life sucks.

-x-

He wanted me to do his dirty work.

It finally occurred to me when I was sitting through dinner— getting funny looks from important people who turned their noses up at my catering uniform— that Inuyasha was too much of a coward to just stand up and admit he's marrying the wrong girl. He doesn't love her so he wanted me to get up and say I love him and make _me _look like the reason their marriage wouldn't work. I'd be labeled as a home wrecker and while he would get some of the blame, I'd take the brunt of it.

Asshole.

I reached for my glass again, drinking down all the champagne in two gulps (as if I need more alcohol) and motioned for Shippo to come over and refill my glass. I hadn't touched any of my food because, like I presumed, Sango forgot about the food and there was a slightly burnt taste to it and I didn't feel like forcing it down.

"How does it feel to dine with royalty?" Shippo asked as he restocked my supply of champagne.

I shot a look at Inuyasha and Kikyo at the head of the table, talking and smiling at each other.

_Super _asshole.

"It's horrible."

"Sucks to be you." Shippo finished filling my glass and went back to his spot against the wall, waiting for someone to beckon him over to refill their glass.

I was about to gulp down this glass too, when I decided that I wanted to get the hell out as soon as possible. I picked up my knife and tapped my glass, slowly getting the chatter to calm down and bringing attention to myself.

I stood up and cleared my throat. "Hi, I'm Kagome, Inuyasha's f—best friend." I had to catch myself before I said _former. _It wouldn't have been the right thing to say at the moment. "I have been given the honor to give the congratulatory speech to the lucky couple!" Faking enthusiasm was easier than I thought it would be. "Inuyasha and Kikyo have been on-and-off dating for as long as I can remember, but it looks like they finally got it right and can start to settle down and plan their future. Fate obviously wanted these two to be together and it just took them a few times to get it right.

"These two are really lucky to have each other," I continued, pulling words out of the air and putting them in my mouth just so I had something to say. "They've been through hard times together and broken up because of them, but they seem to always find their way back to each other. A constant cycle of love that will never come to an end. Their love has a certain magic thing to it that makes them sparkle. It just sets them on fire." Am I even making sense anymore? "It burns everything to the ground." I caught the funny look Sango was giving me from her corner. No, I'm just saying stuff. "Fireworks exploding in the sky!

"Look at the two of them." I pointed to Kikyo and Inuyasha down at the end of the table where Kikyo was leaning her head on his shoulder and Inuyasha was trying to look like he was genuinely happy. "They're beautiful together. Two absolutely gorgeous people will join each other in holy matrimony and fuck and make thousands of gorgeous babies." A few smiles fell and a couple of gasps rose. I will never drink and talk again. "They brighten each other's days and are now taking that giant leap for mankind and building a future together. I am personally terrified of my future, but these two optimists are heading towards it with open arms. They're just… _horrible _for each other."

…What the _hell _did I just say?

"They don't even like the same things. I remember once in high school they were getting really pissed at each other because they couldn't agree on where to go on a date because their hobbies were so different and they _broke up. _What kind of couple breaks up over _that? _Obviously the kind that won't make it in the long run. I give the marriage a _week._" The main reason why you shouldn't drink and talk is because you just can't stop once you start._ "_And you know what, Kikyo is a bitch. She was the one who pushed me into the deep end when we went to the pool together junior year and I almost drowned because I couldn't swim. Yeah, I never told you that Inuyasha because I'm an _un-_bitch, but surprise! Your girlfriend tried to kill me!

"And, you know since today is just filled with so many _wonderful _surprises, let's just add to the list. I love you! I've loved you since high school and I was just too much of a coward to tell you, but I love you. A lot. And I stopped talking to you because you were dating Kikyo again and I wasn't going to pretend I was okay with it. And I was trying to hide from you all night, but you had to be stupid and thickheaded and get me off my shift and _make _me hang out with you and just _torture _me with your presence. And wow, I'm talking really fast and saying a lot of stuff I shouldn't, but guess what. I'm drunk! And drunk people can say whatever the hell they want and I'm in love with Inuyasha and I don't think he should marry Kikyo just because he would feel guilty if he refused her proposal. Talk about missing your dick!"

I was highly aware of how silent everyone was during my rant and I finally realized it was time for me to get the hell out of there.

"So," I said in a much more composed manner, "cheers to the happy couple." I picked up my glass and started to head out of the dining room.

I was glad to get that all off my chest.

But because I had to be punished for getting drunk on the roof with another woman's fiancé, God sent me back to that damn dining room to make an even bigger fool of myself.

"And compliments to the mixologist!" I shouted, met with dead silence. "Cheers to forgetting this night ever existed!"

And then I _ran _out of there and to my car. I was obviously not in the state to be driving, but I couldn't wait for a designated driver to take me home. I had to leave now.

-x-

I was crying. Actually, I was _bawling. _I couldn't stop the tears from falling and snot was running from my nose and I was curled up against the sink in my kitchen, sniffling like the pathetic fool I was.

I burned my grilled cheese.

I followed the science to a T, but I still managed to mess it up. The bread was burnt to a crisp by the time I got the cheese in the middle to melt and it was just horrible. If I cooked a good grilled cheese sandwich, it meant I would be fine. Things would change with my life and I would forget all about Inuyasha. But I burned the grilled cheese, just like I used to, and that meant things were going to stay the same. I wasn't going to be able to make a good grilled cheese sandwich. I wasn't going to be able to forget Inuyasha.

And I didn't make just one, I made _five. _I burnt _all _of them.

And that was a depressing thought so I started crying my eyes out because little, insignificant things like that usually trigger an emotional breakdown.

If I had just stayed home none of this would have happened. I wouldn't have faced Inuyasha again, I wouldn't have made a huge fool of myself, I wouldn't have almost died driving my drunk behind home, Inuyasha wouldn't be confused about his marriage, and Sango wouldn't be getting bitched out by a very unhappy Sesshoumaru as I predict is happening now. If I had just locked myself up in my room none of this would have happened.

_Boom! Boom! Boom!_

And now the landlord is pounding on my door, probably with my eviction notice. My rent is a week and a half late and until my loud entrance into the building tonight, I had been doing one hell of a job avoiding him.

I slowly got off the floor and headed towards the door. I was wearing one of my ex's t-shirts that he left behind (makes for great pajama wear) and I thought about putting some pants on before I opened the door. No, it's too much work. I already royally screwed up tonight, I can add answering the door without pants on to my list.

I wiped the snot off my face and rubbed my eyes with the hem of my shirt before I finally answered the door.

Of course.

"Hey, Kagome," Inuyasha greeted, looking disgruntled. His tie was missing, his shirt was un-tucked and wrinkled and his suit jacket was missing.

"What?"

"I…" Inuyasha looked uncomfortable and he cleared his throat. Trying to avoid looking at my face and his eyes landed on my t-shirt. His eyes narrowed and he sniffed the air, practically snarling. "Is that Kouga's shirt?"

"We already broke up," I mumbled, but it didn't do much to appease Inuyasha.

"And you're still wearing his shirt?"

"He left it behind, it's comfortable, and… and this is so _not _what we should be talking about right now," I cut myself off. I wasn't the one who got engaged to a girl he didn't really love and then decided to have second thoughts the night of his engagement party. We _clearly _had bigger fish to fry. "What do you want?"

"Kikyo's pretty pissed. She's never been more humiliated in her life and she wants to have you thrown off a cliff for what you pulled tonight." That's nothing new. "And Sesshoumaru never wants me to see you again. You would be a disgrace to our family since we lost a bunch of prospective clients."

"Oh." Yes, that's _exactly _what I wanted to hear. "Well that's just…" I bit my lip, not knowing how to go on. "What do you want, Inuyasha?"

"Can I come in?"

"No," I shook my head as tears began to well up and a golf ball got clogged in my throat. "No. Don't do this. Don't… Don't run away from Kikyo just because I got drunk and said some stuff and… and… No." I shook my head again and looked Inuyasha in the eyes, set in my resolve.

I wasn't ready for another ride on the rollercoaster of emotions I always seemed trapped on when Inuyasha was around. I wanted to go back to my simple life. Back to where I fanaticized about owning my own little restaurant and made the perfect grilled cheese. I almost didn't want Inuyasha to come into my life again and ruin all of that.

"Kagome." Despite my protest, Inuyasha stepped closer to me and placed his hands on my waist because he's fucking Inuyasha Takahashi and can get away with crap like that. "Please."

"No," I blubbered, trying—and failing—to keep myself from crying again. "I don't want to go through all this. I don't want to be the whore that broke up the engagement or the scapegoat you use to get out of a marriage you didn't want in the first place."

"You're not a scapegoat," Inuyasha whispered in my ear, pulling me in closer to him. "I love you, Kagome."

I took a deep breath to gather my strength and courage and pulled myself away from Inuyasha. I looked up into his eyes. "You were just engaged two hours ago," I reminded him. "You can't really mean that."

"Kagome—"

"Go home, Inuyasha," I said, pushing him away from my door. "Just take a moment to actually think all of this through."

Inuyasha started to get pissed; his face scrunched up and turned red. "I don't need to think anything through! I know what I've wanted for _years _and—"

"If you really wanted me for years how come you were engaged?" I shouted back at him. "How come you couldn't wait or try to find me or even _tell _me?" Inuyasha kept opening and closing his mouth like a fish, at a loss for words. "Yeah, you really loved me enough to get engaged to another girl! After Kouga, there was _no one_ for me. And the reason Kouga and I didn't work out was because I kept thinking about you!"

"Well, why didn't you tell me you were in love with me earlier?" Inuyasha countered, trying to flip the accusations on me since he didn't have any of the right answers.

"Because you were dating Kikyo!" I screamed in his face. "Why bother trying, when you kept going back and forth with her? How am I supposed to know if I have a chance when you keep dating the same girl!?"

"Kagome…" Inuyasha reached out for me, but I slapped his hands away and stepped back into my apartment, starting to close the door between us to create some sort of barrier. "I—"

"Go home, Inuyasha," I whispered and then I slammed the door on him.

I went directly to my room after that and cried to myself for hours before I finally managed to fall asleep.

-x-

I did not want to get out of bed today. I woke up around seven in the morning with a horrible hangover and my headache wouldn't let me go back to sleep. I lied in bed for three hours, thinking again of how horrible yesterday really was. I knew it was bad when I was drunk, but remembering everything when I'm sober is even worse. Did I really give that speech? Did I really reject Inuyasha?

Shit.

The sudden need to throw up finally got me out of bed and after I finished puking out my guts, I figured I might as well take a shower since I was already in the bathroom.

By the time I finished my shower I had come to terms with everything that happened yesterday. I needed to say that speech because now I could move on with my life. I had said everything I needed to, everything that had been built up for years, and now I'll have no more regrets. It was the clean break I had wanted and I felt a hundred times better now. Kind of. Not really…

But, the feeling will come, I'm sure of it. I just need to give it some time.

As for refusing to let Inuyasha in, that was a smart decision, too. We probably would have slept together if he made it past my threshold and he really did need to let it all sink in. I didn't want to wake up next to him, only to find him having second thoughts; that crap happens all the time when you make impulsive decisions. I wouldn't be able to handle it if he decided to work out things with Kikyo, so keeping him out was smart. It was practical.

I just really hope I don't regret it. Maybe I should have slept with him so if he does go back to Kikyo I'll at least have the—

_No, _I scolded myself as I slipped on jeans and a t-shirt. _You will not regret your decision. You will _not _second guess yourself._

After convincing myself that everything I did last night was for the best, I got on with my life like it was any other day. It was best to… forget last night for the time being. I turned on the TV and watched an hour of the news so I could stay partially up to date with current events. I checked my account online to find out that I finally had enough money to pay my rent. I stopped being a coward and called Sango to schedule my next job (she bitched me out for a good thirty minutes, but I finally scheduled to work next Wednesday. We were catering an anniversary).

It was almost noon when I finally got around to making breakfast. I figured I'd make myself French toast since it's my favorite and I could use the pick-me-up. I went into the kitchen to find that all my bread had been used to make burnt grilled cheese sandwiches and I'd have to go to the store. I sat down and drew up an entire shopping list. If I was going to the grocery store for bread, I might as well get everything else.

I finished up a long list of groceries and grabbed my purse form my room and my shades and headed for the door. Everything was returning back to normal. Everything was going to be fine. I was going to be fine.

I opened the door to see Inuyasha sitting in the hall across from my door. He looked tired and slightly irritated. His shirt was un-tucked and wrinkled, his hair an uncombed mess. His suit jacket and tie were both missing.

Of course.

"Inuyasha," I gasped, gaping at him as he stared up at me.

"Kagome."

I looked over his clothing again. "Did you stay out here all night?"

"Yep."

We stood in silence for a long time before I finally found the nerve to speak again.

"Did you take the time to think it over?" I asked him, shifting my weight to my left foot.

"I didn't need to," Inuyasha shrugged. "I still feel exactly the same way as I did before. I just thought I'd give you some time to run out of excuses to keep me out of your life."

"I wasn't—" I cut myself off and glared at him. Why did I love him again? Right now he seemed like a big pain in the ass.

"Did you run out of excuses?"

I looked off to the side, refusing to answer the question. I wasn't making excuses, I was pointing out parts of the truth Inuyasha chose to overlook. I was going to be labeled as the whore that ruined the power couple's engagement. This would definitely be in the news. And Inuyasha did have a really funny way of showing his love. Having a constant a relationship with Kikyo all those years he claimed to have loved me wasn't the greatest way of showing his affections towards _me_. Really, I was being the _realist._

"I was being realistic," I argued and Inuyasha sucked his teeth. "I'm serious! You can't just expect that we can suddenly get together and—"

"Kagome." Inuyasha's voice was soft and low, bordering on husky as he cut me off, standing up and approaching me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and leaned his forehead against mine. I was going to protest, but he's fucking Inuyasha Takahashi. Somehow, he just got away with it. "I'm not going to hurt you."

"I know," I mumbled, looking down at the ground, our feet much easier to take than his intense gaze. "But—"

"Can I come in now?"

Did I really want to go through this with Inuyasha?

"I—" He pressed his lips to mine, interrupting my last vain attempt at an excuse. It was too hard to even think of excuses when his lips were so warm and his hands were pulling me in closer, pressing our bodies together.

When we pulled apart he looked down at me earnestly. He cradled my head in his hands and forced me to maintain eye contact. "I'm coming in now."

"I just don't want—" Inuyasha cut me off with another kiss, walking me back into my apartment while I was too caught up in the taste and feel of his mouth against mine.

Damn, he made it past the threshold.

"Okay," I whispered, already leaning in for another kiss. "Okay."

_**-0-0-0-0-**_

_**This was originally going to be called I Burn My Grilled Cheese, but then I realized how stupid that was since that part is pretty insignificant, but I really do always burn my grilled cheese. I have to have my little sister make it for me now. The catering idea came for Sarah Dessen's The Truth About Forever and the rest was just my imagination. If you liked this please review!**_

_**~Kimiko888~**_

_**Before Kimiko and I were friends, I was boss-tastic at making grilled cheese, but now I burn them all. And no matter what she thinks, it's all her fault. Anyway, I'm shamelessly publicizing the fact that we have a fucking facebook. Actually, I made it as part of a big project to kind of… go in with the required theme of taking leadership. So please, if you want me to be successful in life, like us on facebook (Kimiko888's the name). Also, Kimiko won't be making her own posts until we get at least 30 likes. Now that that's done, we're peacing out.**_

_**~hanmajoerin**_


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